Wedded Diss

My wife and I laughed at Melissa Giberson’s Connections, “Are You Sisters?” (April 30), and our similar experiences. We started dating in December 1996 and were first asked if we were sisters while traveling a few months later. Back then, it seemed safer when traveling to say yes. Since then, we have been asked countless times — both with and without our children or grandchildren. I think people recognize a loving relationship and they might not have words for it. Now, we proudly say, “Not sisters, we’re married” — most of the time. Sadly, sometimes it still feels safer to say sisters.

Lenore Lyons and Diane Thayer Centerville

My life partner of 30 years, wife for 18, and I also experienced what Giberson and her partner did. On an international flight, a flight attendant refused to believe us. Other times, it’s store clerks and waitstaff. We both wear glasses, have silver hair, and are about the same height so we’re sisters! It’s annoying that folks have to move through this line of questioning, and that being life partners and wives isn’t an acceptable first question.

Diana Dugan Richards Watertown

Here’s hoping that the grating task of correcting people’s assumptions at least results in behavioral change over time. As a gay man married to a man, I have my share of these stories as well. But I wanted to offer another story that gives me hope. Last year, my husband and I wandered into a jewelry store. I was looking for a new wedding band. The clerk didn’t miss a beat when I asked to try on rings from the “women’s” case. She took out the rings and offered, “These cases are labeled women’s and men’s but that’s arbitrary. You’re welcome to try on whatever you like.” It’s an example of the kind of grace and unassuming behavior we should come to expect from people.

Tom Chase

Boston

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