Flipping our lids over toilet etiquette
Social polarization has gone way, way too far! In my most recent challenge, I invited you to come up with a word for “when a man leaves the toilet seat up after using the toilet.” I assumed we were all in agreement that leaving the seat in that position was tacky and thoughtless — but it turns out that a small but vocal contingent considers this behavior sensible and maybe even woman-friendly. “I take offense at the implication that leaving the toilet seat up is bad,” Paul Kyzivat, of Hudson, wrote. “It isn’t — it is simply the overall most efficient strategy. It minimizes the number of times the seat needs to be moved. It also spreads that effort more equally across all users, rather than placing it all on a subset of users.
“This is a variant on a strategy, called receiver make it right, in computer networks for how to encode data when there are multiple preferred formats for the data.”
OK! Thanks, Paul.
Michael Biales, of Acton, took a similar stance, arguing: “The premise of the question is wrongheaded and anti-feminist. A person should be pleased to find the seat up because it means that the man was considerate enough not to pee on the toilet seat. It is in the best interest of anyone who needs to sit on the toilet seat to find it in the up position. It is an insult to women to assume that they are too spacey to not notice the seat is up before they sit down.”
Michael added: “If one accepts the premise that leaving the seat up is a good thing, one could thank the person leaving it up for being so con-seat-erate.”
But most readers, male and female, didn’t see it that way. In fact, Ronna E. Krozy, of Chestnut Hill, said that, on the contrary, she found the behavior in question inconseat-erate. Jeff Kaufman, of Needham, told me: “The behavior, admittedly inconsiderate to women, might be described as pee-brained.”
Marjory Wunsch, of Cambridge, proposed phalloseatrism and also thanked me for “making my autocorrect go bonkers!”
Stuart Rose, of Lincoln, who boasted that he is “well trained in bathroom seat etiquette,” proposed deseatfulness. Scott Street, of North Reading, seconded him, writing: “Leaving the toilet seat up is an act of deseat, and a perpetrator of this crime is a deseatful felon.”
Naomi Angoff Chedd, of Brookline, reported: “I call them re-peed offenders. Having raised two sons and still raising a husband, I’ve had many such crimes committed in my house.”
Michael Katz, of Hopkinton, wrote: “I’m going to suggest future ex-husband.”
And Ed De Vos, of West Newton, offered up nine possible coinages, among which my favorite was ruinal. I’m stumped, however, as to how one could use that in a sentence.
What exactly readers’ responses referred to varied, you may have noticed, as did the parts of speech of the words coined. The terms were mostly adjectives or nouns for the behavior or nouns for the man. However, David R. Moran, of Wayland, and Howard Morris, of Needham, both sent me a complete, if succinct, sentence: Urine trouble.
I like that one a lot, both for its novelty and because it’s not insulting. It just states the case. So I hereby award David and Howard bragging rights — good one, you two!
Now Jo Sullivan, of Lynn, needs a word for something her son noticed on a recent vacation: “While we were staying in a cozy rental in Maine for three rainy days, my son pointed to the numerous signs decorating the cottage and asked, ‘What do you call those?’ They came in many shapes and sizes; they were in every room, including the bathroom; and they were inspirational (‘Live Love Laugh’) or humorous (mostly about alcohol or chocolate). Even after several days, we couldn’t think of a good word for them.”
Jo, you are a woman after my own heart! I once wrote a whole article about signs people post around their homes, and I have to admit they annoy me (why would I need constant reminders to “Enjoy” my own home?). But I agree with you that they collectively deserve a name.
So let’s coin one. Send your suggestions for Jo’s word to me by noon on Friday, Aug. 11 to Barbara.Wallraff@globe.com, and kindly tell me where you live. Responses may be edited.
And please remember that meanings in search of words are always welcome.