Chaucer’s ‘The Canterbury Tales’: not safe for teens

In 1985, Mr. Kilinski, my senior-year high school English teacher, put Geoffrey Chaucer’s magnum opus “The Canterbury Tales” on the syllabus. The plot: A motley crew of people from different walks of life make a pilgrimage from London to Canterbury to visit the shrine of St. Thomas Becket. To pass the time, they create a storytelling contest where the winner will receive a free meal at the swanky Tabard Inn upon their return.

Chaucer’s classic was right up my alley. I love a good story! “The Canterbury Tales” offered yarns by, among others, a monk, a manciple, a merchant, a Man of Law, and a miller. Mr. Kilinski pointed out that the Miller was the Redd Foxx of this group. His tale was apparently so filthy that it did not appear in the version we were assigned by the school.

Mr. K assigned us a 10-page essay on a Canterbury Tale of our choosing.

“But not ‘The Miller’s Tale’!” he said, shaking his finger with mock sternness. To torment us, he added that this forbidden fruit featured adultery, naked butts, red-hot pokers, Noah’s Ark, and farting.

He did not provide any information on how those pieces fit together. But we noticed the mischievous glint in his eye as he listed them, and it inspired one mission: We had to get our hands on “The Miller’s Tale.” And there was one place we could do so for free: the public library.

I’m sure the librarian wondered what the hell was going on when a bunch of teenagers stormed her place of business foaming at the mouth for a 14th-century text. There were only two copies in the library, neither of which we could borrow. Making matters worse, they were in Middle English with no translation.

We didn’t care. We huddled in groups trying to decipher “The Miller’s Tale.” Thankfully, the words we were most concerned with were not too far off from their current incarnations.

The entire endeavor took us three afternoons.

Though I had read far dirtier things long before my encounter with Chaucer, I’ll never forget how much fun it was for my classmates and me to work together to savor the scraps of raunch he provided us.

To honor Chaucer, I made my own pilgrimage to Canterbury Cathedral in 2017. I didn’t get to tell any stories, but I guarantee you “The Odie’s Tale” would have made the Miller blush.