Clean Break

I respectfully disagree with Robin Abrahams’s advice to the neighbor and friend of a likely hoarder (“Not a Given,” November 5). She writes: “Your neighbor needs professional help, and finding that professional and persuading her to accept that help is her family’s job.” But the friend/neighbor’s family may be [unable to do that]. Sometimes a close friend may lead the organizing of an intervention, or may inspire the family to do so, or otherwise initiate action to deal with an unsafe situation. To simply say nothing, as Miss Conduct seems to suggest, feels like a possible abandonment of a reasonable duty of friendship.

Geoff Patton

Ashland

Hoarding is indeed a mental disorder. We (meaning me) know this. It is highly difficult to treat and overcome this. The hoarder feels humiliated, overwhelmed, and trapped. Lots may want to change but can’t see how it would play out. The one thing not to do is push them, shame them, or insist that they are choosing stuff over their family. They need to decide on their own to go forward. The hardest thing for a hoarder is trusting another person. Too many have had their treasures tossed; others don’t see my stuff the way I see it. Some of us just need someone to come alongside us. Maybe talk to us while we sort, or help drag a bag to the curb. Please be kind and trusting.

crabbyab posted on bostonglobe.com

Your town/county will have specialized services to help her. In our town, it’s the Council on Aging. They have been wonderful with an elderly neighbor — no judgment, no threats, just caring professionals who take their time to understand and comfort her, and then take the first steps toward helping her manage. I would start by calling your senior services department.

RememberingTonyC posted on bostonglobe.com