‘Safety is the No. 1 thing’
♦ Gordon County Domestic Violence Outreach Office is here to help.
In a domestic violence situation, leaving is the most dangerous time.
Beth Peters, Outreach and Developmental Coordinator at Gordon County Domestic Violence Outreach
Office, said that that’s because of control, which is central to domestic violence.
“Domestic violence is an unhealthy distribution of control,” she said. “So if you’re in a relationship and one partner has a lot more control than the other partner, then that’s not a healthy relationship.”
She said that while domestic violence is largely associated with physical violence, other kinds of abuse can leave worse marks than physical bruises.
“A lot of people associate domestic violence with physical violence but I have had many, many victims tell me that the emotional abuse is worse,” she said.
She said that anyone who isn’t sure whether or not they’re a victim of domestic violence can come in and talk — because abuse has so many different faces beyond physical, GCDVOO can be a resource for those who think their relationship might be unhealthy.
“Sometimes it doesn’t even hit them until they come in here,” Peters said.
For those who don’t want to reach out to the local office or need help at off hours, GCDVOO has a 24/7 crisis line run out of Dalton. While Peters praised the National Domestic Violence Hotline, she said that it can be good to have a local resource that’s more versed in what resources are available locally.
“They’re very familiar with Gordon County,” she said. “I would say, in fact, two or three of people who answer those calls after hours are from Gordon County.”
The mission of GCDVOO is to try to make victims of intimate partner violence and abuse safer. Whether that’s by assisting them in leaving their partner or trying to help keep them safe if they choose to stay, GCDVOO has resources to help: from individual support to group support, from legal advice to assistance with bills.
“Safety is the No. 1 thing. We want everyone to be safe,” Peters said. “If they’re going to leave, we want them to have the resources they need to leave. If they intend to stay, we want them to be as safe as possible in the house.”
GCDVOO has helped victims with divorces, has helped them with putting down a deposit on a new place — anything they can do to legally, emotionally, or financially support victims of domestic violence.
“One of the big things is that we never want someone to stay in a position because of finances,” Peters said.
She also said that while children being involved in domestic violence situations can complicate leaving — both legally and emotionally — there are resources to ease that, in terms of financial and legal assistance, as well as therapy and support groups for parents and their children.
While information about domestic violence often centers women as victims — and for good reason, as they make up the majority of victims of domestic violence — Peters said that GCDVOO has resources for everyone, regardless of their gender.
“We’re seeing a lot more men,” she said. “Historically it’s 98% female, but we’re seeing a lot more men these days. Maybe it’s because we’re in a different place as a society.”
In Peters’ experience, more men are asking for help, defying a culture that has historically shamed them for doing so. At least, that’s the hope — that more male victims will speak up and seek help when they are victims of violence.
“You may have a male victim that feels like they can’t even really defend themselves for fear that they will be incarcerated or they will be the one to get in trouble,” she said.
She also said that while spaces for victims of domestic violence are traditionally female, it’s time to step away from that just a bit — everyone can be a victim of domestic violence, no matter who they are.
“This needs to be a gender neutral space where someone is comfortable whatever their status is in life, no matter where they are in life,” Peters said. “Someone who might be transgender or someone who might be in a same sex relationship, they should feel just the same here as any other relationship. So we really strive to do that.”
And it’s not just a gender or sexual orientation thing — Peters is striving to make sure that folks who speak other languages are also comfortable there, and able to express what’s going on to them in the language they are most comfortable with. With Calhoun having a large Spanish-speaking population, that means Peters is currently on the search for someone who’s bilingual in Spanish and English to help out.
Peters also said that she works hard to make sure that GCDVOO brings in as much funding as possible — she fights hard to get every stitch of federal and state money she can. Not only that, GCDVOO has partnered with the local chapter of United Way, and they receive other local donations as well. All of that goes back into their mission of keeping people safe from domestic violence.
“All of the donations that come into this office stay in Gordon County,” she said. “And they all go straight to clients.”
Those who need help leaving a domestic violence situation — or those who want to make staying safer — is welcome to reach out. Whatever assistance will make that situation better, whatever victims need, Peters asks that those who are ready to reach out do so.
“We try to say everyone’s welcome,” Peters said.
If you or someone you know needs help with an abusive relationship, reach out to Gordon County Domestic Violence Outreach Office at 706-625-5586 to schedule a time to talk. Their office is located at 717 S. Wall St.
And those in need of immediate, emergency assistance can always call their 24/7 crisis line at 706-278-5586.