SUMMER OF HEALING

This unique summer camp offers hope for grieving children

SCITUATE — Losing a parent is difficult at any age, but for a child the loss can seem almost unbearable.

After the death of a parent, children can experience all the same emotions that adults do, including intense shock, anger and a sense of guilt or responsibility.

Randi Gilmore, a Burrillville mother of five, saw all of those emotions in her children after her 51-year-old husband, Robert, died suddenly from a massive heart attack – five weeks after the death of his own mother on March 21, 2007.

Incapacitated by her own grief, Gilmore did everything in her power as the surviving parent to help her children come to terms with the death of their father and grandmother.

“At the time my daughter, Rachel, from my first marriage, was just 16, and our other five children were only 9,7, 6, 5 and 4,” Gilmore says. “There were a lot of feelings of uncertainty and insecurity.”

That’s when she discovered Camp BraveHeart in North Scituate, a camp hosted by Hope Hospice & Palliative Care Rhode Island for children who have suffered the loss of a loved one.

The free, two-day summer camp at Camp Aldersgate in North Scituate, which concluded Thursday, is for youth between the ages of 4 and 17. In its eleventh year of operation, Camp Braveheart provides a unique opportunity for youth to increase levels of hope and learn that they are not alone in their grief.

Children who attend the camp take part in fun traditional camp activities such as swimming, kayaking, archery, rock climbing, gardening and storytelling. In addition, grief counselors provide emotional support through discussions and opportunities to memorialize loved ones during art, music, theater and drum circle activities.

The camp opened Wednesday with a special kite ceremony. More than 100 “Andy’s kites” were donated in honor of beloved Hope Hospice nurse Andrew Kenny, who died this year. The camp ended Thursday with a butterfly release and a remembrance ceremony.

For Gilmore, Camp BraveHeart is a transformational weekend camp that combines traditional fun camp activities with grief education and emotional support.

“It’s a place where kids can laugh, cry, play, create, remember the person who died, or forget the grief that weighs them down,” she says. “It’s a place where they can feel ‘ normal’ because everyone there has been through something similar and understands what it’s like to lose someone important to them.”

Gilmore was introduced to Camp BraveHeart in its inaugural year in 2007 by camp founder Deanna Upchurch. There were only 21 kids signed up that summer, but Gilmore figured it was worth a shot to send her own children, who were all under the age of 10 at the time.

“That first year Camp BraveHeart was held at Camp Fuller in Wakefield and I remember being so impressed,” she says. “Every child there has lost someone so it becomes a shared experience. Most children find that friends can’t relate to their loss, but when they are with other kids who are going through the same thing they can talk to one another and not feel so alone.”

Fast forward to this summer, the camp hosted dozens of kids from throughout Rhode Island and Gilmore’s family is still actively involved. Her youngest children, Gabby and Jackson, continue to participate as campers, and her older son and daughter, Kait, 18, and MacKenzie, 16, now volunteer as junior camp counselors.

Last summer, Kait spoke to the campers and staff about her experience at Camp BraveHeart and how it has helped her heal and grow.

Research indicates that children who experience the loss of a loved one often become “forgotten mourn- ers,” says Upchurch, senior grief counselor and children’s grief specialist at Home & Hospice Care of Rhode Island.

Upchurch holds a master’s in counseling psychology and founded the camp.

“These surviving children often feel isolated and lonely in their grief and may not be sure how to handle the conflicting emotions they are feeling,” she says. “At Camp BraveHeart, we provide an appropriate emotional outlet to children by offering them grief support in an environment of fun recreational activities, and we help them to understand that what they’re experiencing, although painful, is perfectly normal.”

Gilmore says her family looks forward to Camp BraveHeart every summer and has often referred the camp to others who have suffered loss.

“It is an amazing place for kids to share with each other their innermost thoughts about their loss and their feelings,” she says.

Camp BraveHeart is made possible through the generous contributions of donors. Anyone wishing to donate to the Camp BraveHeart Fund may send a tax-deductible contribution to Home & Hospice Care of Rhode Island, Department of Philanthropy, 1085 North Main St., Providence, RI 02904.

Photos by Ernest A. Brown Mike Nespolo, of Woonsocket, a counselor at Camp BraveHeart, now in its 11th year and held at Camp Aldersgate in Scituate, assists campers in a kite decorating project dedicated to the memory of deceased loved ones, on Thursday. ‘Like our grief, kites can’t be rushed into the wind,’ said Deanna Upchurch, a co-leader of Camp BraveHeart.

Jordan Wright, 9, of Cumberland, flies her kite after she decorated it in memory of a loved one who recently passed away. The kite decorating session was part of activities for youngsters during Camp BaveHeart in Scituate.

Photos by Ernest A. Brown During a grief-conquering session of Camp BraveHeart, held at Camp Aldersgate in Scituate Thursday, youngsters decorate kites in memory of loved ones who have died.

Corey Jiglio, 8, of Lincoln, flies the kite he decorated in memory of a loved one at Camp BraveHeart on Thursday.

Jaden Lambert, 14, of North Smithfield, decorates a kite in memory of his brother Dylan, who died at age 18 in 2015. At left, is Taylor Diefenbach, 15, of Warwick.