Wife is tired of long marriage to a resentful curmudgeon Birthdays
DEAR ABBY:
I will soon be married 48 years, but it is not much of a marriage. There is no sex, no touching, no kind and compassionate words, only bickering and arguing. I can't figure out why I'm still here. I have thought about leaving many times.
I have written three books, and because of it, my husband has ridiculed me. I have also owned and operated two businesses. I'm active in the community, which he resents. He is an introvert, while I am an extrovert. He no longer accompanies me to activities, but when he did, he would make snide remarks to people who stopped to chat with us. So I no longer invite him. Help me, please! —SAD, LONELY WIFE
DEAR WIFE: I will try. If you are asking my permission to divorce your husband, I can't give it to you. Instead, I suggest you ask yourself why you have tolerated such a lonely marriage for 48 years and what you feel you would have to gain by leaving. As an intelligent woman, once you answer that, I think you will know what to do.
DEAR ABBY:
I am a mother of two. I share 50 percent custody of my children with their father. My children also have two stepparents.
How involved in decisionmaking should the stepparents be? I value their opinions, but I think I know what is best for my children. Their stepmother isn't particularly involved in their activities or pickups and drop-offs, but never hesitates to interject her opinions about what I should do with their time. It causes communication problems between their father and me. I don't want to be rude to her. Where does the line need to be drawn?
—MOMMA KNOWS BEST
DEAR MOMMA KNOWS BEST: Give your ex's current wife the benefit of the doubt. She may be trying to be helpful. Then, for the sake of your own sanity, simply ignore her comments and continue com- municating with your ex in parenting matters.
DEAR ABBY:
Many years ago, as I was about to graduate from college and begin looking for a job, I read a book called "Dress for Success." One of the things I remember from it is that a man's tie should be tied to a length that is between the last button of his shirt and the top of his belt buckle.
Since the last election I have noticed that many politicians, our new president included, wear their ties several inches below their belt. Is this a fashion trend or just them being unique?
—CHRIS IN WASHINGTON
DEAR CHRIS: I brought your question to the attention of the Brooks Brothers corporate office and was told that what you read in "Dress for Success" was correct. That some people wear their ties longer is an individual style decision, and not a fashion trend.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone – teens to seniors – is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
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