Call & Times

Bourbon, peacocks star in New England’s wildest 2018 tales

- By WILLIAM J. KOLE

BOSTON — Things got a little wild in New England in 2018 — as in actual animals weaseling their way into the headlines.

A Vermont family’s pet peacock ran off with a flock of turkeys. A black bear trashed a car in Connecticu­t after locking itself inside. Beavers flavored bourbon at a distillery in New Hampshire. And so many crows descended on one corner of Massachuse­tts, it took a cannon to shoo them away.

There was no shortage of antics from the naked apes at the top of the food chain, either.

A sampling of some of the region’s weirder stories from the past 12 months: ARE YOU MY MOTHER? Pea the peacock must have been lonely, or maybe he was just confused. For whatever reason, Rene and Brian Johnson’s unusual family pet took off, lured by birds of a different feather: a flock of wild turkeys. After trying unsuccessf­ully to get close enough to scoop it up with a net, the couple from Springfiel­d, Vermont, posted this plea on Facebook: “My peacock has run off with the turkeys. Do you have any suggestion­s on how to catch the little twerp?”

UNBEARABLE DAMAGE

Things got hairy very quickly for a Connecticu­t woman whose car was shredded by an adult bear that somehow got inside and couldn’t get out. Linda Morad was house-sitting in Canton when she noticed her car lights on and heard strange noises. She called police, who found the bear franticall­y clawing up the interior. Officers opened a door and dashed to the other side of the vehicle as the bear scampered away. Morad said she thinks the bear was drawn by the smell of garbage she had hauled to the dump earlier in the day. COUNTING CROWS It took the boom of cannon fire to chase off hundreds of crows that decided to roost at an electrical substation in North Adams, Massachuse­tts. National Grid deployed a propane cannon that doesn’t shoot projectile­s to disperse the crows, which it said could short out equipment and trigger a power outage and damage gear with their corrosive droppings. The utility said no birds were harmed — just annoyed by the noise. CLOTHING OPTIONAL Dressing for success at this job interview might be a little risky — or risque. A nudist campground in Rhode Island that offers swimming, hiking, volleyball and a sauna for people unafraid to bare it all advertised for a lifeguard. Required: “excellent communicat­ion skills” and the ability to “work as part of a team.” Clothing? Not so much. Dyer Woods Nudist Campground­s president Jim Johnson said the successful applicant could weari a swimsuit or a birthday suit. HIS ‘PHONE’ WAS DELICIOUS A man insisted he was wrongly ticketed for distracted driving by a police officer who mistook his McDonald’s hash brown for a cellphone in Connecticu­t. Westport police issued Jason Stiber a $300 citation, but he challenged it in court, saying the only thing he was guilty of was the munchies. Stiber said phone records prove he didn’t make any calls around the time he was pulled over. A judge found him guilty, but he’s appealing. PERPS NEED NOT APPLY If you’ve got a rap sheet, maybe don’t apply for a job at the county jail? That happened in New Hampshire, where Kristina Hoefs applied in person for a position at the Hillsborou­gh County Department of Correction­s. Workers there ran a routine background check and realized she was wanted on a theft-related charge in Maine. Hoefs was promptly taken into custody and taken to Manchester police headquarte­rs. TOWN FLIPPED OFF Take that, town hall. A Vermont man erected a sculpture of a giant middle finger after officials in Westford refused to let him move his truck repair and recycling business to his property. Ted Pelkey mounted the upraised digit on a 16-foot pole with lights so his inelegant salute can be seen from a nearby state highway. “I wasn’t trying to get fame out of it at all ... I’m just mad,” he said. BEAVER BOURBON Rich leathery notes with a hint of vanilla and an undertone of ... beaver musk? So says New Hampshire-based Tamworth Distilling, which produced bourbon flavored partly by secretions from a beaver’s castor sacs. The distillery, which dubbed its whiskey Eau De Musc, said beaver secretions have been used as flavoring because of their “bright fruit qualities.”

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