A Caregiver’s To Do List

With so many responsibilities, it is difficult to keep everything straight. Try to accomplish these other important tasks:

• Communicate honestly, clearly and frequently with the person you are

caring for. Sharing your feelings can be rewarding for both of you. • Relieve stress with exercise, writing, yoga, meditation or hanging out

with positive people.

• Be kind to the person living with cancer, to those around you who

might not understand your role and especially to yourself.

• Stay flexible: your loved one’s cancer will knock you off balance if you are committed to one stance. Accept that there will be changes throughout this time.

• Lean on others when needed. Strength can come from a personal friend, a support group or a professional counselor. The source is irrelevant. Just seek out something that works for you at this time. • Recognize you’re one person and can only handle so much. There is no such thing as a super-caregiver. You are already a hero by nature of what you are doing. Don’t be afraid to accept help from someone. If people are offering, they are willing.

Caregiving concerns

What if I have conflict with my loved one?

When people don’t feel good, they might not be aware of how they are approaching you. Their bodies are tired and their filters are worn down. Hurtful or seemingly ungrateful things might be muttered. Try not to take it personally or feel unappreciated. If your loved one isn’t treating you well, it’s okay to say, “I’m going to leave the room now because this doesn’t feel good. But I will be back.” Take that frustration and dump it on a trusted friend / pedal it out on a treadmill / slam it across the tennis net / bake it with a batch of cookies / pour it into a work project. You may need to consult a third person to mediate the dispute. The sooner any disgruntled feelings can be resolved, the better experience you both will have.