Family dynamics

Cancer, at any stage, will affect the entire family. The most important thing you can do is communicate together to help you cope with the changes cancer brings to your family life. Some members of the family feel more pressure than others to hold everything together. Make a valiant effort to not spend your time worrying about your family worrying about you. You need all of your energy to manage your health. It’s a delicate balance on all ends to navigate this.

Dealing with the diagnosis for the entire family

• Decide who will be the primary caregiver(s).

• Seek comfort from other family members and friends.

• Ask questions and get answers from the medical team.

• Learn about the short and long-term effects of the recommended

treatments.

• Learn how other parents in your situation have coped or are coping. • Take time for yourself and find healthy ways to release your anger and

other emotions.

• Get help from community sources.

• Make sure the people-pleasers of your family take care of themselves

too.

A family promise

It’s important for the family to be on the same page in the diagnosis and set expectations for themselves, including:

• Make the one with cancer our focus to the best of our capabilities.

• Do what we need to do to keep ourselves healthy.

• Communicate our feelings to each other/trusted friends or a

professional.

• Surround ourselves with positive and supportive people and utilize

resources.

• Try our best to adjust to the new roles and help support each other. • Respect and do not try to change each other’s coping mechanisms and

communication styles (unless they are detrimental).

• Have a mature, calm conversation free of accusation or hurtful words if

we disagree.

• Apologize if we take out our frustrations about the situation on each

other.

• Forgive anyone who doesn’t adhere to these rules and keep focusing

on the one living with cancer.

Impact on family

Practical It is helpful to assign roles to willing family members and friends so that there is a clear understanding of duties each week. This helps to level out the burden of care, especially if people in the family live afar.