‘If I can do it, so can you’

By Elayne Smith Lowe

When Jodi McGinnus Porter was told she would need a double mastectomy, she knew she needed to do something special.

The Taos native gathered friends, family and coworkers to join her in eating pink-frosted cupcakes with a sugary nipple on top as a symbolic sendoff for her breasts.

“I wasn’t going to let this cancer effing beat me,” Porter said. “Everybody gets through it in different ways. I used humor.”

Porter, 59, was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2014. According to the American Cancer Society Surveillance Research, more than 1.8 million new cancer cases will be diagnosed in 2020 throughout the United States.

While every case will be unique, there are ways patients and caregivers can attempt to make the next steps and treatment more bearable.

Porter said she was lucky that she had friends willing to step up for her. One of her friends created a care schedule assigning those in Porter’s life different times and tasks to support her. One friend would bring her “trashy” novels and Junior Mints, while another would take her to Starbucks to get her out of the house.

For caregivers, she said it’s important to remember the little things because there was so much she could no longer do. One of the biggest luxuries, she said, was going to a Great Clips and paying $5 for someone to wash her hair because she couldn’t lift her arms in the shower.

Even with the best support, she said dealing with the pain and sleepless nights was something she had to find within herself.

“There’s so much unfortunately that’s happening to you and all at once,” she said. “You have to take it a minute at a time, then an hour at a time, then a day at a time—especially when the pain is so great and you don’t think you can bear it. Give it a little time.”

MaryHelen Kelty, 70, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008 and said she relied on her Christian faith to find her inner strength.

“I had faith that I would have the strength to fight this disease with everything I had,” Kelty said in an e-mail.

The retired Santa Fe teacher said maintaining a positive attitude got her through a lot of challenges. However, she said having her husband at every appointment and the support of family and friends was invaluable.

“It is so important to be there for your loved ones—whether it is just to offer a shoulder to cry on or to help with their care or just sit and visit and take their mind off their illness,” Kelty said. “They need to know that someone understands what they are going through and that they care.”

The biggest challenge for Kelty, though, was telling her loved ones the news about her cancer diagnosis. In the end, she said being honest with them and sharing her needs gave her more strength.

“If someone is lacking support, I think they just have to be honest with the people they need in their lives at that time and tell them what they need,” she said. “Most people would step up if they only knew they were needed in any way.”

Amid the generosity of others, Porter said she was her biggest critic. She couldn’t stop feeling like she was failing at her job, despite support from her boss. Looking back, she said she should have been more patient with herself and advises others to have more grace.

“Think of it as training for a marathon,” she said. “You will get [your strength] back, but it’s going to take work and perseverance.”

Looking for how to persevere, Porter talked with a friend who had undergone treatment. Finding hope through the strength of a survivor, Porter said, can give a patient a better perspective.

“If I can do it, so can you,” Porter said. “Don’t lose hope.”