How to help

The feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming when you have a friend affected by cancer. It may be difficult to know exactly how to help, and your friend may not be able to communicate his or her needs. First, consider this list of the best and worst things to say to someone who has cancer. This list is compiled from cancer survivors and Cancer.net at cancer.net/coping-withcancer/talking-with-family-and-friends/supporting-friend-who-has-cancer.

Refrain from saying:

• You’re brave.

• I know how you feel.

• If anyone can beat this, you can.

• How long do you have?

• That’s a good cancer to have or it could be worse.

• I’m sure you’re fine.

• Don’t worry.

• My _____ had cancer and …. (This isn’t about you or anyone else you know

who had cancer.)

Try saying:

• I’m sorry you’re going through this.

• I care about you.

• What are you thinking about doing and how can I help?

• I am here to help you. Can I take you to treatment and stay with you? or

offer something else specific you can do

• I don’t know what to say, but I’m thinking of you.

• I will listen anytime you need to talk.

What you can do:

• Babysit or drive your friend’s kids to school and activities

• Bring dinner

• Do household chores

• Grocery shop

• Drive your friend to appointments

• Stay during treatment if desired and possible

• Go for a walk together