Supporting others through grief

Being there for someone

We aren’t taught how to deal with someone who’s grieving. Because we don’t know what to say, our typical response is to give advice, which is a mental response to an emotional issue. It doesn’t help the grieving person. Realize that there is nothing that can be said to heal someone’s grief. What people ultimately need are people who are willing to listen and accept what they are saying without correcting or judging.

• Be there for them, even if it feels uncomfortable.

• Acknowledge their loss and express your sympathy in a genuine way.

• Let them know you don’t understand but that you are sorry for the loss in their life and that you are interested in how they are doing. It’s a simple thing to say and makes a difference to the griever.

• Keep reaching out after time passes. Your loved one or friend definitely is

not okay or over it under any specific timeline.

• Be patient. Grief is a different experience and many days they don’t feel like themselves. Forgive them for not seeming like the same person you know.

• Don’t ever give up on them just because they can’t properly express or

explain how they are feeling or what is needed.

Local grief support for children

Gerard’s House in Santa Fe offers several free, bilingual programs to support grieving children and their families, including grief support groups for children and adults, a summer camp, crisis response services, individual sessions and suicide-prevention programs. Its website also provides information on how to talk to your children about a death.

Call 505-424-1800 or visit gerardshouse.org.