Husband being consoled for ex-girlfriend’s death
DEAR ABBY: My husband of 20 years, “Jerry,” recently learned about an old girlfriend’s death. A Facebook friend informed him about it.
He is now receiving condolences from friends that he is responding to as though he were grieving. Abby, the old girlfriend and my husband split up on very bad terms. She not only cheated on him but gave him an STD. I am appalled and feel hurt.
Is it normal to send condolences to old flames?
– Deathly Confused In Texas
DEAR DEATHLY: It’s normal to inform others about a death, but considering the circumstances of the breakup, what’s going on isn’t “normal.”
While it isn’t unusual for old friends to reach out to each other after news of a death, to convey it in the form of a condolence to an ex-boyfriend strikes me as odd. My advice is to re- main calm and wait for the emotions to subside with time.
DEAR ABBY: My daughter’s mother-in-law has declared that this is “her” year for Thanksgiving, and next year is “her” year for Christmas. She has three married sons with children.
Don’t you think the sons and their wives should decide for themselves if they want to travel for the holidays? Also, what about her daughters-in-law’s parents?
My philosophy is to plan my holidays and invite my children. If they can come, great! If not, there are no hard feelings. If all of my children and grandchildren can’t be here at the same time, I focus on the ones who are and enjoy the time I have with them. I think the woman is being disrespectful to her sons and daughters-in-law. What say you?
– Focus On A Good Time
DEAR FOCUS: Not all mothers-in-law are alike. Some are iron-fisted matriarchs who demand obedience from their grown children. Others, like you, are more easygoing. In my opinion, the woman you have described is overbearing.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact her at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.