Best one-liners

Let’s ring out 2017 with a look back at Scotland’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival, held in August. One of the comedy features is “Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe,” in which the public decides the funniest one-liner from a judges’ shortlist. Here are this year’s Top 15 vote-getters, as reported by Esquire.

1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” — Ken Cheng

2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” — Frankie Boyle

3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point?” — Alexei Sayle

4. “I’m looking for the girl-next-door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.” — Lew Fitz

5. “I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘ brella.’ But he hesitated.” — Andy Field

6. “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant.” — Mark Simmons

7. “I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it…” — Jimeoin

8. “I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house.” — Ed Byrne

9. “I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died … which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.” — Olaf Falafel

10. “Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences,’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!”’ — Alasdair Beckett-King

11. “A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event.” — Angela Barnes

12. “As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.” — Adele Cliff

13. “For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it.” — Lisa Denton Phil Wang

14. “I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the ark.” — Adam Hess

15. “I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act.” — Tim Vine