Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

President Trump’s chief economic adviser Gary Cohn announced his resignation yesterday, which means Trump is now down [photo of Magic 8- Ball] to just one adviser. — Seth Meyers

At this point, so many staffers have quit that when you call the White House, Trump answers the phone himself. — Jimmy Fallon

According to sources, White House chief of staff John Kelly is frustrated with Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner, and questions what they do during the day. I’m going to say “nothing” and “homework.” — Seth Meyers

President Trump is on a diet and has been trying to eat more salad. When he first ordered one at the White House, the kitchen was excited because they thought the Obamas were back. — Jimmy Fallon

There’s more news out of the Russia investigation. For months, the FBI has been questioning witnesses about possible collusion between the Trump administration and Russia, and according to a new report, Donald Trump has been asking the witnesses what questions came up in the interview. Trump’s basically that kid who didn’t study for a test and he’s like, “What did you get for No. 2?” — James Corden

A British trade official said today that the British government is very disappointed in President Trump’s proposed tariffs on steel and aluminum imports. And “very disappointed” is strong language for the British. In fact, it’s their highest level on the Terror Alert System. — Seth Meyers

In a new interview, Vladimir Putin said that he has no disappointment in President Trump. Putin even said he would happily vote for Trump again. — Seth Meyers

President Trump will visit California next week to view eight border wall prototypes. Eight? How hard is a wall? — Seth Meyers

The porn star that claims she had an affair with the president is now suing him. Man, it’s so weird — it’s almost as if we DID elect a Clinton! — Conan O’Brien

Law experts are saying that some of the language in adult film star Stormy Daniels’ nondisclosure agreement suggests that she may have some lurid photos that were taken during their sexual encounters. Said Trump, “Fake nudes!” — Seth Meyers

Wildlife experts are reportedly puzzled as to why a pair of bald eagles at the National Arboretum, named Mr. President and The First Lady, have not yet laid an egg this spring. Though they haven’t really been getting along since Mr. President had that affair with Storky Daniels. — Seth Meyers

A new study has found that when romantic partners hold hands while in pain, their brain waves can sync and decrease that pain. “Nah, I’m good,” said Melania. — Seth Meyers Source: www. newsmax. com