Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

› This week President Trump has been sending angry tweets about Amazon for the way they run their business. Then someone handed Trump some bubble wrap from an Amazon box, and he forgot all about it. — Jimmy Fallon

› President Trump this morning on Twitter nicknamed former President Obama for the first time, and called him “Cheatin’ Obama.” Cheatin’ Obama? That’s a pretty lame nickname. You know what’s a cool nickname? Stormy. — Seth Meyers

› President Trump today attacked Amazon for the second time this week, tweeting, “I am right about Amazon costing the United States Post Office massive amounts of money for being their Delivery Boy.” This is when I appreciate Twitter. It used to be, if you wanted to hear a 71-year- old man whining about the post office, you had to go to the post office. — Seth Meyers

› There’s new information about Donald Trump and the Russia investigation. According to The Washington Post, last month special counsel Robert Mueller told the president’s lawyers he was a subject of the investigation but not the target of the investigation. Which is kind of like when the principal at your school says, “I got my eye on you, mister.” — Jimmy Kimmel

› But Mueller told Trump that, while he is not a criminal target, he still needs to ask him some questions. Basically he’s treating the president like the guy who used to work with the woman who turned up dead on this week’s “Law & Order.” — Jimmy Kimmel

› In a press conference, President Trump said that nobody has been tougher on Russia than him. In fact, last night he made sure to hit Putin extra hard during their pillow fight. — Jimmy Fallon

› President Trump said today that “Nobody’s been tougher to Russia than Donald Trump.” And Vladimir Putin said, “It’s true, he’s been a terrible employee.” — Seth Meyers

› A lawyer for Stormy Daniels went on Megyn Kelly’s show today and said, “She can describe the president’s genitalia in great detail.” Then Americans were like, “PLEASE give her some more hush money.” — Jimmy Fallon

› White House counselor Kellyanne Conway today rejected reports that she is the No. 1 leaker in the Trump administration. Added Conway, “But I’ll tell you who is.” — Seth Meyers