Chattanooga Times Free Press - ChattanoogaNow

Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

- Source: www. newsmax. com

During a speech at Yale this weekend, Hillary Clinton mocked President Trump by putting on a traditiona­l Russian hat, and then Trump mocked Clinton by being the president. — Seth Meyers ›

Meanwhile, back in Washington today, President Trump went to the swearing-in ceremony for new CIA director Gina Haspel. In her speech she said, “We can’t rest on our laurels.” Then Trump chimed in and said, “Or our Yannys.” — Jimmy Fallon ›

In an interview on “Fox & Friends,” President Trump said that NFL players who kneel for the anthem “shouldn’t be playing.” “Um, actually no one should be,” said doctors. — Seth Meyers ›

Rudy Giuliani said this weekend that special counsel Robert Mueller has promised to finish his investigat­ion into possible wrongdoing by President Trump by September, possibly even August if Giuliani would just stop calling him. — Seth Meyers ›

Donald Trump is obsessed with his staff leaking informatio­n. You know how I know that? His staff leaked that informatio­n to The New York Times. — Stephen Colbert ›

A sinkhole has opened up on the White House lawn. So apparently, another one of Melania’s tunnels collapsed. — Conan O’Brien ›

White House aides have told Trump to switch out his cellphone on a monthly basis, but he says it’s too inconvenie­nt. Trump’s like, “The only thing I switch out on a monthly basis is my staff.” — Jimmy Fallon ›

President Trump canceled his summit with Kim Jong Un, saying it’s because of Kim’s “open hostility.” Trump said, “I will not tolerate hostility from a fat-faced little Rocket Man.” — Conan O’Brien ›

After North Korea indicated that the talks may be off, Trump announced the talks are off. It was the nuclear nonprolife­ration equivalent of, “You break up with me? I break up with YOU!” — Jimmy Kimmel ›

In his letter [to North Korea], Trump bragged about America’s nuclear arsenal, but ended the letter by writing, “If you change your mind, please do not hesitate to call me or write.” Which feels like a bit of a mixed message. Trump’s like, “I can wipe your country out with a level of nuclear force you can’t even comprehend … but I’m here for you if you need to talk.” — James Corden ›

This, to me, was the most interestin­g part: Trump wrote, “You talk about nuclear capabiliti­es but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.” And then he goes right into, “I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me.” See, that’s Trump diplomacy in a nutshell: I look forward to our friendship, but if not, I will kill you. — Jimmy Kimmel

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