Late Night Laughs: Around the White House

Chattanooga Times Free Press - ChattanoogaNow - - PUNCHLINES -

› An 11-year- old boy in Florida was able to hack into a state elec­tions web­site and change re­sults in un­der 10 min­utes. So get ready to meet Florida’s next gover­nor, Fort­nite McDead­pool. — Jimmy Fal­lon › Pres­i­dent Trump was in New Jer­sey this week­end, where he hosted a “Bik­ers for Trump” rally at one of his pri­vate golf cour­ses. Be­cause re­ally, what’s more … re­bel­lious for bik­ers to do than hang out at a mem­bers- only golf club? “Bik­ers for Trump,” or as most peo­ple call them, “bik­ers.” — James Cor­den › Af­ter a large par­rot es­caped from its Lon­don home, a fire­fighter at­tempted to res­cue the bird off a nearby roof. Ap­par­ently the bird’s owner told the fire­fighter to go up there and say, “I love you.” And the par­rot re­sponded with “[bleep] off.” Although the story does have a happy end­ing. The par­rot has just been hired as Don­ald Trump’s new press sec­re­tary. — James Cor­den › Democrats and some Repub­li­cans are voic­ing con­cerns about Pres­i­dent Trump’s pro­posed mil­i­tary pa­rade (now can­celed) and feel the event may come off as to­tal­i­tar­ian. You think? That’s like some­one be­ing wor­ried that the Pride Pa­rade is go­ing to come off as a lit­tle bit gay. — Seth Mey­ers › Pres­i­dent Trump had lunch with Vice Pres­i­dent Mike Pence to­day. He didn’t mean to. He just asked a waiter for a side of mayo and they brought Pence over. — Seth Mey­ers › Pres­i­dent Trump tweeted to­day that there is noth­ing that he would want more for the coun­try than true free­dom of the press. And then even the Twit­ter bird rolled its eyes. — Seth Mey­ers › Trump went on to say that he will be go­ing on the road and mak­ing 50 cam­paign stops, but he has “no prob­lem with that.” You know who else doesn’t have a prob­lem with that? Me­la­nia. “Go, go. Take all the time you need. Make 100 stops! See the sights!” — James Cor­den Source: www. news­max. com

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