Work wisdom

› No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early. — Groucho Marx › A consultant is a man who knows 157 ways to make love, but doesn’t know any women. — Anonymous › Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he’s supposed to be doing at that moment. — Robert Benchley › It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. — James Thurber › It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? — Ronald Reagan › Personally, I have nothing against work, particularly when performed, quietly and unobtrusively, by someone else. — Barbara Ehrenreich › Being a couch potato is not the same as being a failure. Being a failure implies that you were actually trying to do something. — Anonymous › Wheaties: the breakfast of champions and the dinner of the unemployed. — Ruminations.com › I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. — Jerome K. Jerome › The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. — Oscar Wilde ›

No one’s dream job involves a kiosk. — Damien Fahey ›

Work is the greatest thing in the world. So we should always save some of it for tomorrow. — Don Herold ›

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. — Bertrand Russell ›

On applications, where it asks if you’ve ever committed a felony, I like to write in, “Is lying on an application a felony?” — Guy Endore-Kaiser › Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work. — Lemony Snicket › When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him whose? — Don Marquis › I truly believe the wireless mouse was invented so people at work had one less thing to hang themselves with. — Mike Vanatta

› I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life: Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. — Homer Simpson › I do not like work even when someone else does it. — Mark Twain Laugh Lines is compiled from various sources, including reader submissions and websites. Origins are included when known.