Presto!

Chattanooga Times Free Press - ChattanoogaNow - - PUNCHLINES -

In the week be­fore La­bor Day, Eli, a dirt-poor coun­try farmer won half a mil­lion dol­lars in the lot­tery. To cel­e­brate, he treated his wife and their four kids to a trip to see the La­bor Day pa­rade in New York.

He booked them rooms in a fancy ho­tel in the heart of the city. They’d never been any­where like New York be­fore. In fact, they’d never trav­eled fur­ther afield than their lo­cal town, so when they got there they were com­pletely bowled over by all the glitz, glam­our and ex­cite­ment of the Big Ap­ple.

Eli and his son, Clem, were par­tic­u­larly mes­mer­ized by a shiny box with sil­ver walls in the ho­tel lobby. They’d never be­fore come across doors that could move apart and then au­to­mat­i­cally close again, as nei­ther had seen an el­e­va­tor be­fore. So they were to­tally amazed when a lit­tle old lady en­tered the shiny box and the doors closed on her. The lights on the wall by the doors flashed for a minute or so, then the doors opened and out stepped a beau­ti­ful young woman.

Eli turned to Clem and said, “Son, go get your mother.”

Lisa Den­ton

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