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Laugh Lines


Super Bowl observatio­ns

From www.jokeblogge­ (compiled from tweets):

› Later today, millions of Americans will gorge themselves on chips and hot wings and scream at the TV … some may even watch the Super Bowl. — @Meatblanke­tt

› Just a reminder: The Chiefs are the ones wearing red, the Niners are the ones wearing white, and the Patriots are the ones watching from home with the rest of us. — Steve Hofstetter

› I got a paper cut opening a bag of Doritos at last year’s Super Bowl party that I refer to as my football injury. — Dan Regan

› Me — Who are you rooting for, 49ers or Chiefs? Wife — I don’t know. I really don’t have a team I … (Jimmy Garoppolo is shown warming up) … the 49ers. — Dan Regan

› I am surprised at how good a quarterbac­k Janeane Garofalo is. — Steve Hofstetter

› So who can we blame for no Super Bowl Ad featuring the Clydesdale­s? — Janice Hough

› Shakira is 43. JLo is 50. I couldn’t move like that at 20. — Steve Hofstetter

› Just wondering who will have a more difficult job for Pepsi Halftime: The guy doing the auto-tuning or the double-sided tape. — David Speier

Laugh Lines is compiled from various sources, including reader submission­s and websites. Origins are included when known.

 ??  ?? Lisa Denton
Lisa Denton

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