Chattanooga Times Free Press - Parade

Ask Marilyn

- By Marilyn vos Savant

Why is the heart so slow to follow the mind? The background: I split from an intimate love relationsh­ip that was toxic. Post-split, we became friends, but after a brief sweet period, I had to end the friendship, too. I know this was the right choice, but I still mourned the loss of a woman dear to me. —S. J., British Columbia, Canada

Passionate emotions are addictive! We are loath to give them up, even when they’re accompanie­d by pain. The stronger and more frequent they are, the harder they can be to relinquish. How soon we let go—if we ever do—depends on the balance between the good and the bad, plus individual factors such as self-esteem. Just because you figure out what to do doesn’t make you feel any better about doing it.

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