Single mom’s pain boils to the surface
DEAR ABBY: About 20 months ago, after I found out I was pregnant, I was abandoned by the father of my child. My mother had passed away a month before. So I was grieving, shocked to discover I was pregnant and devastated when I was left for another woman. I went through my pregnancy alone, gave birth alone and am now a single mother.
While my child and I are blessed — I have a good job, Momma left me some money that has helped me buy a home, and my friends are supportive — my heart is broken.
My son’s father pays child support, but his priority is the woman he left us for. Everyone tells me I need to be the bigger person, accept the situation and give my son a chance to know his father. I understand all of that, but I am so angry. I feel rejected and debased. I cry all the time. I try to keep a positive face for my son, but sometimes I break down. My son’s father and his lady make fun of me and flaunt how happy they are together while I am alone raising my child. The woman enjoys pointing out how hard I have it and how alone I am.
My son is my joy and I love him dearly, but why am I not allowed to be angry at his father and that woman? Why must I be the one who accepts the hurt and difficulty, while my son’s father and his lady have their cake and eat it, too? I would really appreciate your thoughts. — HURT MOMMA IN THE EAST
DEAR HURT the children from MOMMA: While you prior relationships, have every right to be but the “new” and the angry, has it occurred “old” never speak of to you that you may not each other, much less only be grieving for your enjoy seeing pictorial mother but possibly be reminders hanging suffering from postpartum in our home. Some of depression as well? Discuss our grandchildren are this with your doctor blood relatives; others and ask to have your hormone are not. Our children levels checked. It have moved on to other might also benefit you to relationships. This is join a grief support group. OUR home, but we
Your ex-boyfriend and don’t want to offend his “lady” may appear to any of the people we have their cake and eat welcome into it. Any it, too, but it’s not true. advice? — PICTURING They have each other, IT IN ARIZONA and both of them appear DEAR PICTURING to be miserable people. IT: You are a sweet and For the sake of yourself sensitive person. Talk to and your son, please stop your children. Ask how allowing them to make they and their children you miserable, too. You would feel if you “edit” have your beautiful child, the collection, and which and endless possibilities ones they would prefer lie ahead if you will open you retire. And be sure to yourself to them. If necessary, offer the outtakes to them find a licensed therapist rather than toss them. to help you let go of Dear Abby is written the negative and get your by Abigail Van Buren, priorities straight again. also known as Jeanne Once you succeed in Phillips, and was founded doing this, you’ll be fine. by her mother, Pauline
DEAR ABBY: We Phillips. Contact Dear
used to display a wide Abby at www.DearAbby.
variety of family pictures com or P.O. Box 69440, on our living Los Angeles, CA 90069.
room walls. Before Abby shares more than
repainting, we took 100 of her favorite recipes
them down. Because in two booklets: “Abby’s
some of them include Favorite Recipes” and
our children’s former “More Favorite Recipes
and current relationships, by Dear Abby.” Send your we can’t decide name and mailing address,
which ones we can plus check or money order
comfortably “redisplay” for $14 (U.S. funds) to: without offending Dear Abby, Cookbooklet anybody. Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount
We have remained Morris, IL 61054 0447.
on good terms with (Shipping and handling
former in-laws and are included in the price.)