High school sweethearts share their secrets
High school sweethearts share their secrets
James Elligan and Johnnie Mae Wells fell in love in 1942 as classmates at Howard High School. Following their graduation in 1943, the two married. Not long after, 18-year-old James was drafted into WWII and sent overseas to fight.
“He was gone for two years. I wrote him letters every day,” Johnnie Mae remembers. “When he came home, he brought back loads of my letters.”
Seventy-five years later, James, 93, and Johnnie Mae Elligan, 94, are still married. They still live in the Ridgeside home they purchased 40 years ago. And though age has weakened their bodies, requiring around-the-clock end-of-life care for Johnnie Mae, the couple’s love is still strong, and it reflects in their children.
Last May, their second eldest, James Elligan Jr., 72, moved home from Hawaii to be there for his parents.
“They had their ups and downs, but they stayed together. They taught us all our values,” he says.
We wanted to learn from a love like the Elligans’ too. So this month, Chatter spoke with four couples, all high school sweethearts, who shared with us their stories, words of wisdom and advice for those just beginning their lives together.
JAMES AND JOHNNIE MAE ELLIGAN
Howard High School Class of 1943 Married for 75 years Ages: James, 93; Johnnie Mae, 94
Family: 4 children, 11 grandchildren, 7 greatgrandchildren and 4 great-great-grandchildren
HOW DID YOU MEET?
James: We had the same high school classes and got closer and closer. She had lots of suitors, but I won her heart.
HOW DID YOU WIN HER HEART?
James: It was the war, and lots of other guys were leaving for service ....
Johnnie Mae: (interrupting) That was an advantage. But I kinda liked his looks.
WHERE WAS YOUR FIRST DATE?
James: The Stand. It was a sandwich shop. We went for a soda.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?
James: Her beauty and strength. Johnnie Mae: His
ambitions.
IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE SECRET TO A LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIP?
James: Choose the girl you like best and try to hang with her. We managed to hang together through the ins and outs. Johnnie Mae: Always be true to each other. James: And that’s a tall order sometimes.
MIKE AND JAN BURTON › Sale Creek High School Class of 1980 and 1981, respectively Married 38 years
Ages: Mike, 56; Jan, 55
Family: 2 children and 2 grandchildren
HOW DID YOU MEET?
Jan: It was 1978. We had Glee Club together. Me and my friend went over to [Mike] and sort of flirted with him. I told him that he smelled good. He was wearing Coty Musk. It’s a cheap cologne, like a $10 bottle. He still wears that same cologne. My friends always laugh about it, but people always talked about him smelling so good, and they still do.
Mike: I remember like it was yesterday. I was shy. I didn’t know what to say. I just said, “Thank you.”
HOW DID YOU MEET?
Alan: I first saw her in August of 1959 in homeroom. I was seated and a pretty blonde girl walked in on her toes with her nose in the air. I punched the guy next to me and said, “She’s going to be my girlfriend.” He said, “You don’t even know her
DREW AND HANNAH CAMPBELL
› Red Bank High School
Class of 2000
› Married 14 years
› Ages: Drew, 37;
Hannah, 37
› Family: 4 children
HOW DID YOU MEET?
Drew: The first time we really met was in the eighth grade, and we were both voted “Friendliest in the Class.” Hannah: We really did meet for the first time at the photo shoot. I thought he was cool, but it wasn’t until the ninth grade, when Drew had a band, and I remember they played at the Renaissance fair at the Signal Mountain Playhouse. I was sitting in the WHEN DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS THE ONE?
Mike: I’d say our marriage was ready way before we was ever born. God had this match made in heaven way before we ever met. But we probably dated, I’d say, about three or four months… Jan: (interrupting) No, it was longer than that. Mike: OK, it was probably a year. I just asked her, “Would you like to get married?” She said, “I don’t know if my mom and dad would let me!” I was still shy, but I got up the nerve and went in and asked her daddy — he was a preacher — and he approved it with one stipulation: She had to finish high school. She promised she would. I was fixing to turn 18, but she was just 17. When I graduated, she had to get her mom to go to the courthouse to sign off. I won’t ever forget what the judge told me. He told me, “If I see you in here in five years getting a divorce, you’ll never see daylight
name!” I said, “I will.” Jean: I don’t remember him that day. I was the new kid in school and was too nervous.
Alan: She ended up having a boyfriend at the time. We didn’t start dating until we were juniors, and we’ve been dating ever since.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?
Alan: She’s one of the most positive, productive people I’ve ever met. She gets more done in a day than I get done in a week. Jean: He’s kind, gentle
stands and I had a “Wayne’s World” moment. I thought, “He will be mine. Oh yes, he will be mine.”
WHERE WAS YOUR FIRST DATE? Hannah: I love this memory. We rode the bus together in the ninth grade. We were starting to talk and flirt like ninth-graders do, and one day [Drew] said to me, “When I get my license can I take you on a date?” I said, ‘Yeah!” We probably didn’t even really know what a “date” was at that point.
Drew: For our first date we went to the Mountain Opry and Steak ‘n Shake. Hannah: The Steak ‘n Shake on Hixson Pike. It’s still the same; they never remodeled it. So, sometimes again.” He was very sincere when he said that, and it put the fear in me.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?
Jan: There’s so much. He doesn’t have a temper; he hardly ever gets mad. He’s so cool. He’s the easiest person to get along with in the world.
Mike: What won me over with her was her cooking. She used to make me big ol’ cat-eye biscuits, which is when you take a pie pan and make a whole biscuit out of it. She is caring and loving. Even when she’s sick, she still has my supper ready every night, she lays my work clothes out for me in the morning and my night clothes out for when I get out of the shower.
IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE SECRET TO A LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIP? Jan: Try to understand each other. Listen. Don’t make decisions without talking it over first. Mike: When you make a commitment, keep that commitment. I wish younger people would take their vows more seriously. I see beautiful women all the time and I know Jan sees good-looking men. But anything more than seeing has never ever entered my mind. I tell you what, [Jan] could have got any man she wanted, but she wanted me. We love each other so much. and intelligent, and he’s always got my back.
WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO MOVE PAST AN ARGUMENT? Jean: Don’t argue in the first place. We give it a day and it usually becomes a non-issue. Or we just agree to disagree.
IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE SECRET TO A LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIP? Jean: We both have always been hugely supportive of each other. He’s never tried to change me and I’ve never tried to change him — not in a long time anyway.
Alan: Well, she is a psychologist. (laughs) Even in college, we encouraged each other to live our own lives. Jean: A lot of people love each other, but you have to like and respect each other, too. Focus on what’s good, not on what’s bad. Both of our parents were desperately in love till death did they part. So our normal is to be happy. we take our kids in there and are like, “That’s where we sat on our first date!”
IN YOUR OPINION, WHAT IS THE SECRET TO A LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIP? Drew: We love each other really well, and by that I mean we give and sacrifice for each other without expecting anything in return. We have grown to be better people because we have learned to serve each other and our children so well. Having children — that was a whole new level of learning about acts of service.
TELL ME SOMETHING BRUTALLY HONEST ABOUT MARRIAGE. Drew: It can be uncomfortable and it can expose the worst parts of yourself. For every beautiful thing in a marriage, there is a difficult thing. Hannah: You want your marriage to bring out the best in you, but it can bring out the worst, too. But when you know that getting out is not an option, it changes things. You have to work out your differences.
This story originally appeared in the February issue of Chatter magazine.