Dos, don’ts of staging a pandemic-era awards show

Are awards shows merely the perk for a fully functioning society, or is there a way to make them work even while the world around us in still in dire straits? These are the questions that many in Hollywood are asking after last Sunday’s disastrous Golden Globes ceremony brought in 6.9 million viewers, a free-fall plunge from last year’s tally of 18.3 million.

Certainly, people have more pressing matters on their minds than whether “Nomadland” can beat “The Trial of the Chicago 7,” but even casual movie fans surely cringed (or changed the channel) when technical difficulties nearly torpedoed the speech given by Golden Globe winner Daniel Kaluuya at the top of the show.

There are still nearly two more months before the Oscar telecast April 25. It won’t be easy to mount a glitzy gala during a still-raging pandemic, but here are the lessons that can be learned from the awards shows that were unlucky enough to go first.

› DO a sound check.

In too many of the ceremonies I’ve watched this year, from the

Gotham Awards to the Golden Globes, the first big winner of the night either had no idea when to speak or was still on mute when they finally began to. Clearly, some more robust preshow prep is necessary: If you’ve already got the stars on standby, keep drilling them offscreen until they know their cue to come in. An acceptance speech ought to begin with emotion, not technical difficulties.

› DON’T do improv comedy.

The Golden Globes booked two sets of consummate vampers — “Saturday Night Live” vets Maya Rudolph and Kenan Thompson, and “Barb and Star” leads Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo — but each duo’s improvised patter only made a ramshackle show feel even more chaotic. Improv comedy works better as a palate cleanser during a tightly scripted ceremony, and it feels perverse to let comedians churn through show time in pursuit of a punchline when some of the biggest winners then have their speeches quickly curtailed by wrap-it-up music.

› DO amp up the glamour.

The Golden Globes may not have had a traditional red-carpet experience, but the show still delivered when it came to dressing

up: Stars like Cynthia Erivo and Anya Taylor-Joy wore some of the most striking frocks of their careers during the ceremony, clearly relishing the chance to serve a look after lockdown. For those of us still consigned to sweatpants, a brief burst of Hollywood razzle-dazzle was much appreciated.

› DON’T let winners sit down.

Still, some of that glamour is gummed up when the actors don’t even bother to get off the couch when they win a major televised prize. If the Oscars are forced into remote acceptance speeches, they should at least encourage the winners to rise to the occasion by standing up — it’ll feel less like a casual Zoom that way. (And if I can figure out how to balance my laptop on a stack of shoeboxes while videoconferencing, then so can celebrities.)

› DO book big commercials.

The Super Bowl has managed to turn its larded length into a feature, not a bug: It’s the rare show in which people tune in specifically to see what will happen during the commercials. The Oscars ought to seize the same opportunity, stocking each ad break with teasers for some of the year’s biggest movies.