Fishing for a mate? Use the right bait
We’ve all heard the phrase “There are plenty of fish in the sea.” (As you might know, there’s even a dating site called Plenty of Fish). And sure, there are. But ask any fisherman or fisherwoman if their catches just throw themselves in the bucket and cook themselves for dinner — obviously not! It takes a good pole and reel, lots of patience and bait.
Translated to online dating, the patience is the same. And a good pole and reel can be equated to your up-to-date and well-selected photos and a bio that captures your personality. Now, you need some bait.
“Message bait” is the little elements of your profile that provide insights about yourself and your interests while giving the reader (and potential match!) something to ask you about or give a reason to message you. Sprinkling these throughout your bio not only makes your profile more interesting to read, but they will also make it easier for someone to hit that “Message” button and start a conversation.
Say you enjoy camping and think it would be great to do that with a partner. You might think to include “I like camping” in your bio. But now all the work falls on the other person to continue the conversation. Now what if you instead say, “Looking for my adventure partner — and if you can recommend a camping spot I haven’t been to yet, even better.” It gets the same idea across, but in a much more engaging way — and the person reading your bio might think, “I wonder if they’ve ever been to Yosemite … let me ask.” Ta-da! They feel brilliant for coming up with a personal opening message (and confident that they’ll get a response compared to generic “Hey” chats)… but really, you’re the brilliant one for giving them something to grab hold of.
Of course, not everyone likes camping, but you might have something else in common to connect on. That’s why there should be several examples of message bait throughout your profile. Here are a few ways you can turn one of your interests into message bait:
Instead of: “Travel is one of my passions.”
Try: “I just got back from a trip to Japan. Any recommendations on the next one?”
Instead of: “I like watching Netflix on the weekends.”
Try: “I’m not opposed to a Sunday binge-watch. I’ve already finished my ‘Community’ rewatch, but I’ll let you help me figure out what to start next. (The funnier, the better.)”
Instead of: “I enjoy cooking.” Try: “I’m always in the kitchen trying new recipes from the NYT cooking app. Most recently, the chicken marsala — so good!” Instead of: “I read a lot.” Try: “In a book club of 1, mostly because I go through them so quickly. Question: Does Audible count as ‘reading’?”
Instead of: “I like concerts.” Try: “If there’s live music, I’m there — and if you’ve been to a show at the Music Hall, maybe we’ve already had a missed connection.”
Bait can also come in the form of photos — while it’s important to show your face clearly, it also helps to share a few pictures of you doing things you enjoy. For example, a travel photo could prompt questions like, “Where was that taken?” or “I’ve been to Italy too — did you make it to Venice?” And, of course, also feel free to “take” the bait and start a conversation with someone based on things in their profiles.
It’s hard to talk about yourself and make your profile stand out, but message bait is a great way to get someone interested while also getting to know more about you. And once you’ve hooked them, it’s time to reel your catch in.