How marriage can make you ‘happier’
Several studies published over the last year reveal married people are widely “happier” than nonmarried people. Economist Sam Peltzman reports in his new findings that marriage is the “most important differentiator” between who is “happy” and who is not, with married people 30% more likely to say they were “happy” than unmarried people.
On a deeper level, married people also report a better sense of mental well-being overall. The 2022 Cooperative Election Study survey sampled 60,000 Americans in order to draw meaningful generalizations about every major demographic group in the country. Nearly 60% of married couples reported their mental health as “good” or “very good,” while only 38.4% of those who were not married described their mental health in this way.
When comparing the length of time each couple was married to the status of their mental health, results show marriage boosts mental health from the beginning and the benefit does not diminish over the length of the relationship. The survey also determined the benefits of being married do not discriminate — it is significantly correlated with better mental health among men and women, young and old, rich and poor, uneducated and educated, parents and non-parents, religious and secular, all ethnicities and various political views.
What is it about marriage that so positively contributes to a person’s mental well-being? There are several areas to consider:
1. An unparalleled support system: Dr. John Gottman, a renowned psychologist and marriage expert, emphasizes the importance of support within a marital bond. When individuals face challenges, whether personal or professional, having a spouse by their side can provide an invaluable source of comfort and encouragement. This support buffer acts as a shield against stress and fosters resilience in navigating life’s inevitable ups and downs.
2. A pillar of stability: Dr. Sue Johnson, a leading clinical psychologist and founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, highlights the stabilizing effect of marriage on mental health. Through the security of commitment and shared responsibilities, marriage fosters a sense of stability that is conducive to psychological well-being. Knowing that there is someone to lean on during turbulent times cultivates a profound sense of security and inner peace.
3. Shared growth and development: Dr. Harville Hendrix, a pioneer in couples therapy, advocates for the transformative power of marriage in facilitating personal growth and development. Within the context of a committed partnership, individuals are challenged to confront their vulnerabilities, communicate effectively and cultivate empathy. This journey of mutual growth not only strengthens the marital bond but also enhances individual resilience and emotional intelligence.
4. Hormonal harmony: Dr. Helen Fisher, a leading anthropologist, delves into the neurobiological aspects of marriage. Her research suggests that being in a loving relationship triggers the release of oxytocin and other feel-good hormones, such as dopamine and serotonin. These hormonal changes are associated with reduced stress levels, improved mood and enhanced overall wellbeing — a biochemical boost courtesy of marital bliss.
Marriage clearly has the capacity to be a boost for mental wellbeing, so why does the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce still stand true? This year, Forbes released a comprehensive collection of data on marriage and divorce in the United States. Surprisingly, 75% of divorces occurred in the last year due to a “lack of commitment.” This reason surpassed infidelity — with 60% of couples citing their relationship ended due to an affair.
Perhaps the goal of building a relationship that acts as a support system, consistent stability, a conduit for growth and a natural mood booster is harder than some couples are prepared for. If marriage is going to provide the wellbeing it’s capable of, individuals must be deeply committed to the relationship and to each other. They must also have a desire to cultivate and experience the type of marriage worth benefiting from.
Lauren Hall is president and CEO of family advocacy nonprofit First Things First. Email her at lauren@firstthings.org.