Steinschneider, Barbara O’Neill

Barbara O’Neill Steinschneider passed away peacefully in her sleep at home on December 23, 2022, attended by her loving family and dedicated caregivers. It was the perfect time for her, between the Winter Solstice and Christmas, a time of year that was always special to her. Born Barbara Lee O’Neill on February 26, 1928, in Rockville Center, New York to Thomas and Jean O’Neill, she was the youngest of her brother Steven and sister Betty. While she attended St. Mary’s School and graduated from Packer College, her real education came from her fascination with the beauty of the world and her connection to the powers of the Earth. It was easy to believe that she was a direct decedent of the ancient Druids, although she would never claim such importance. True Druids never do as they protect the balance between nature and civilization. In 1949, Barbara married Eugene Rowan Steinschneider (Row) and soon moved up to the hills of Litchfield Connecticut. Barbara loved Connecticut and began decorating her first home, setting off her lifelong passion for antiques and all things beautiful. Barbara and Row had four children while in that home, which was a way out of town and a place where she could lead her children to make it through the banks of snow and over the hills down where she could pick green winter ferns that grew on the banks of stream in the woods. She would teach her children that bringing these greens into the house in Winter was what brought the promise of the Spring. In 1960, Barbara and Row moved their four children to Winnetka, Illinois where they purchased their cherished home and raise their family, remaining the rest of their lives until Row passed away in 2006 and Barbara left to join him on December 23. Their life in Winnetka was spiced with vacation homes in Westhampton Beach and Remsenburg, New York, as well as Anna Maria Island on the gulf coast of Florida. Barbara’s eye and talent for beauty and design made each home a special place where the family could be extended to include loved ones and friends. While Westhampton Beach was about the Summer, Remsenburg was the hearth for Thanksgiving and Anna Maria Island the place for Easter. But Christmas was always in Winnetka, where their children, together with their wives, husbands, and their grandchildren would return to celebrate family. Family was the focus of Barbara’s life. She was always there for her children and often the adult to whom her children’s friends could turn for guidance when confronted with the challenges and vagaries of a mixed up world. Barbara’s kitchen was always a place to gather, and it was not uncommon for her children’s friends to stop by her kitchen before heading to their own home when returning for holidays. Barbara was an original. She was a beauty. She was an artist whose palette was her life reflected in the iconoclastic classicism of her homes, as well as her personal style. She had a sophisticated ability to arrange and decorate her homes to resemble the still-lives of master artworks, but they were comfortable and welcoming places to be. She loved to bring the outside into the home and had a habit of carrying pruning shears in her purse so she could stop and clip the perfect branch of bittersweet along the road for that evening’s table setting. With her artistic sensibility and iconoclastic sense of design, Barbara brought warmth and visual beautiful into her homes, always with fresh flowers and surprising details. With her high cheekbones and timeless haircut - a bob that stayed naturally shiny black well into her 80s, her sense of style could make a rain hat and slicker look glamorous. She sang all the time and went barefoot whenever possible, and then some. She was naturally and instinctively elegant. Deeply intelligent, with a witty sense of humor, she was a great mimic and storyteller. Surrounded by a powerful husband and children with strong personalities, it could be easy for guests to misjudge Barbara’s often quiet sensibilities, not understanding that it was her strength that enabled her to busy herself with preparing the meal while the room was engulfed in discussion. But at the critical moment, she would make the comment that could bring everyone else back to the moment. And she had a temper when it was needed. When pushed, she could speak cursing fluently, but she was careful to use that kind of language only when it was the perfect punctuation for emphasis. She was never coarse or crude, but she also had an impeccable bullshit detector. And, most importantly, she was never mean or unkind. In fact, her kindness and empathy was always available. She was the center around which the other energetic spirits in the room could gyrate but be held in orbit. Her purpose was to create the most beautiful and fun environments for her family to live in. A whimsical grandmother, she was the most fun and always up for an adventure involving toy shopping and antiquing. She loved to pick up her grandchildren from the beach and take them for ice cream. Barbara is survived by her son Padriac and wife Debra, daughter Barbara and her husband Robert Stahl, daughter Tara and her husband Davoud Vossough, and daughter Deirdre and her husband Julius Klepacz, as well as grandchildren Michael Steinschneider, Chloe Stahl, Thomas Klepacz and Marie Klepacz, as well as greatgrandchild Paul Rowan Steinschneider. Barbara was a great life partner for Row. She was the golden key to his many successes, which Row was fully aware of and thankful for. If you want to do something as a remembrance of Barbara, please show kindness and care to someone in need, even if they may not deserve it at the moment. She would tell you that it can sometimes be what will help them find their way. Info: donnellanfuneral.com or (847) 675-1990.

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