WILLBOYS BOYSBE ...
That’s these Hawks’problem: Where’s tough-guy image?
on Saturday. Some people undoubtedly will be horrified at the sight of three professional athletes enjoying themselves in a manner that might suggest a Misconduct Penalty Ahead.
But this isn’t the Minnesota Vikings’ 2005 Love Boat scandal. And these guys didn’t sign up to be monks.
No, the issue here is what we want our hockey players to be. And I’m here to tell you that they’re not supposed to be impish Justin Timberlakes or naughty Nick Carters. They’re supposed to be tough-looking guys. In the photos, these guys are a cross between the silliness of the Beatles and the suggestiveness of the Spice Girls.
What in the name of Tie Domi is going on here?
Band name open for suggestions
The three Hawks look almost airbrushed in the photos, with Kane appearing positively aglow. That could be his aura talking. Or it could be the girls on either side of him.
There is Madden in another shot, shirtless and flexing his left biceps for the camera. The explanation he’ll have for his wife likely is a work in progress, but for now, we’ll assume it will have something to do with whatever’s in the glass in his right hand.
There’s Versteeg in still another photo, his shirt and large sunglasses both on, looking as if he has decided that accepting an edgier movie role is the right career move, the Disney folks be damned.
What should we call this boy band? I’m thinking Highstickz, 32 Degrees, Man Advantage or Pull My Goalie. I’m also thinking you probably have better suggestions.
All of it leaves me with a conspiracy-theory question for Hawks marketing whiz John
And the limo partyers are: Patrick Kane (top); Kane (sans pants), Kris Versteeg and John Madden (top right); Madden (above, left), and Versteeg (above).