Where’s the beef?

What did Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari crave after the birth of their second son? Cheeseburgers!

Pigskin papa!

Chicago Bear Jay Cutler knows how to settle down a case of new daddy jitters. Order up a cheeseburger. Sneed is told Cutler, whose new son, Jaxon Wyatt, was born at Prentice Women’s Hospital Wednesday morning — called up a pal a few hours later for a food fix.

“[Jay] sent me a text saying the food at the hospital was miserable and wanted to know if we could bring over some cheeseburgers,” said Chicago Cut owner David Flom.

So Flom personally delivered the eats to Cutler and wife, Kristin Cavallari, at the hospital.

“It was about 1 p.m. when we brought the cheeseburgers over to celebrate the birth of their new son,” said Flom, who tells Sneed he also surprised them by bringing along a bottle of champagne to toast the birth of their second child. (The first little Cutler, Camden Jack, was born Aug. 8, 2012.)

“Jay was smiling ear to ear and he showed me like 10 photos of the baby when I got there,” chirped Flom.

Blessings all.

The Lewinsky affair . . .

Is Bubba about to blubber? Sneed hears rumbles former President Bill Clinton, who lied about his affair with White House intern Monica “That Woman” Lewinsky, may opt to publicly apologize for the abuse Lewinsky claims she’s endured since the sex scandal broke more than 15 years ago.

The rationale? To fend off critics of his wife Hillary who blame her for protecting a powerful husband who is a sexual predator. Hillary Clinton is eyeing a 2016 presidential bid.

The big question: Will Bill “I love an audience” Clinton choose to apologize to Lewinsky and his wife for the mess he placed in their lives — and appeal for forgiveness — in order to put the past behind him before his first grandchild is born . . . and reap a lotta love for being a penitent?

Only in America. Stay tuned.

Gulp!

The price of tippling: Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who had made headlines fueled by amber fluid and pipe smoke, may not be telling anyone where he is going through rehab — but he did let it slip to the Canadian press it could cost him $100,000.

Tips & twaddle . . .

The balancing act: High-wire flyer Nik Wallenda is going to walk skyscraper to skyscraper in October in Chicago.

The age thing: In case you are wondering, news veteran/poet/radio raconteur Charles Osgood, who hosts the popular “CBS News Sunday Morning,” is 81 years old.

Santorum decorum . . .

Puck place: Former GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum, who was in town to speak at the University of Chicago Institute of Politics, was spotted at Miller’s Pub downtown to catch a little of the New York Rangers/ Pittsburgh Penguins hockey game.

Begorrah!

Letting no paint dry on his palette, artist Tom O’Gorman has hung a portrait of his friend, Irish President Michael D. Higgins, along with a selection of his boldly colorful paintings being previewed on the second floor of Luxbar — in anticipation of Higgins’ visit to Chicago on Sunday, don’t cha know.

Pippa quip!

Advise ‘em: Pippa Middleton, the younger sister of the Great Kate, who can’t seem to catch a break since her derriere went worldwide the day Kate married Prince William, just served up a piece of social advice in Vanity Fair magazine: Wear wedge heels so as not to tear up the grass when attending the races at the Royal Ascot.

Now isn’t that a relief ?

Sneedlings . . .

Friday’s birthdays: Billy Joel, 65; Candice Bergen, 68, and Marilyn Ballard, 80.