MINOR GRU HA- HA
Too many plots clutter pointless ‘ Despicable Me 3’
The makers of “Despicable Me 3” include a convenient little litmus test during the title credits, before the movie even starts: a Minions fart joke.
Yes. Gas passed by the little yellow pill- looking creatures that somehow stole the show in the original “Despicable Me” — stole it to the tune of getting their own spin- off film in 2015, which raked in more than $ 1 billion worldwide.
So much for bit players. Anyway, when you hear the noise and see the green cloud, if you laugh, you’re in. You’ll love “Despicable Me 3.” I didn’t laugh. But a lot of people did. These movies are a license to print money.
In fairness, I’m sick of the Minions, and all things being equal would rather see another movie with Gru ( Steve Carell), although there’s no particular reason for this one to exist. Gru is, you’ll recall, the would- be evil mastermind ( who never could get the mastermind part down) turned reluctant- but- loving adoptive father, husband and good guy. In fact, he and his wife Lucy ( Kristen Wiig) are now members of the AntiVillain League.
For about five minutes. Gru can’t get the best of the latest supervillain, Balthazar Bratt ( Trey Parker, a cocreator of the great “South Park”), who has stolen the world’s biggest diamond, so Gru gets canned and Lucy more or less falls on her sword in support.
Bratt is initially an interesting character. A child star who played a villain in the ’ 80s whose fame lost out to early puberty ( a flashback of him in costume with pimples and a wisp of a mustache is particularly funny), he started to believe he really was a villain.
So here we are. Bratt still wears his signature purple track suit, complete with shoulder pads, and sports a wicked mullet. He has a weaponized keytar ( two words you’d never expect to see together) and listens exclusively to songs from Michael Jackson, Dire Straits, Madonna, etc. ( How much must they have paid in licensing fees?) He’s curdled and turned because of how Hollywood treated him, which is an intriguing notion for an animated film.
Again, for about five minutes. Soon this plot thread is joined by a surprise: Gru has a twin brother he never know about, Dru ( also voiced by Carell). It seems that when the twins were born, their parents split up, each taking one son. ( I laughed out loud at Gru’s surprise: “You told me Dad died of disappointment when I was born.”)
Dru fared better. He lives in a mansion, has helicopters and cars and other expensive baubles and, most importantly, a head of luxurious blond hair.
But what he really wants is to be a better bad guy.
Wait, there’s more. The Minions walk out because they want to go back to being villains and wind up in jail. Meanwhile Lucy struggles with being a mother, having trouble bonding with her new daughters.
All this mess? It’s a sure sign that another sequel was a financial choice, not a creative one. There are many ideas, none fully realized, so what the heck? Just toss ’ em all in there, see what sticks. ( The execrable “Transformers: The Last Knight” is an even better example of this.) There are some funny parts, of course, because the cast is so talented. But it’s too much work for too little payoff — sound and fury signifying nothing. Nothing but Minion fart jokes.