Women often can’t avoid their harassers, who then use it against them
SAN FRANCISCO – Women who are subjected to unwanted sexual advances in the workplace say they can’t afford to burn bridges and often wind up leaving a trail of friendly messages behind them — continued contact that men later produce as evidence to dispute their accounts and cast doubt on their credibility.
This pattern, repeated in several high- profile business cases that have ousted men from perches of power this year, reflects the bind that women routinely face in the workplace. More than half of all American women say they’ve been harassed on the job, but repercussions for men have been few.
“You are not going to walk up and say: You are dead to me,” says Aileen Lee, a partner with venture capital firm Cowboy Ventures. “You could potentially do more damage to yourself and to your career.”
In 2011, author and entrepreneur Laura Fitton had just left a fundraiser when she says venture capitalist Shervin Pishevar grabbed and forcibly kissed her in the hotel’s elevator.
Fitton deterred Pishevar, and a few days later reprimanded the investor about his behavior. But, nervous about alienating an influential business connection, she stayed in touch with Pishevar. Over the next few years, she sent friendly notes inviting him to speak at conferences.
Pishevar, who has denied Fitton’s allegations, is now using those notes through his law firm as proof that he couldn’t have done anything that wasn’t consensual. Pishevar resigned Thursday from his firm Sherpa Capital.
During Anita Hill’s testimony in 1991 against Clarence Thomas, Sen. Alan Simpson, R- Wyo., hammered Hill on why she followed Thomas from one job to another and kept in touch with him.
“There is this myth that if you are really being harassed or assaulted, you will get angry and get the hell out of there,” says Lilia Cortina, professor of psychology and women’s studies at the University of Michigan. “( People) don’t understand all the complicated reasons why leaving is not an option.”