Copy­cat co- worker keeps steal­ing my look


Dear Abby: I have been try­ing to get healthy for years and re­cently lost a lot of weight. Ev­ery job I have, I work with grossly obese women. At my present job, one of them keeps com­ing to work dressed like me.

It has hap­pened be­fore and I am sick of it. You have no idea how in­sult­ing it is to come to work, ready to do my job and find my­self in this em­bar­rass­ing sit­u­a­tion. I just started work­ing here and I need the job.

To me, this is a form of ha­rass­ment, and I don’t un­der­stand where she’s com­ing from. It’s not my prob­lem if she is un­happy with her self- im­age. I like my­self; I mind my own business and do my work.

Also, I worked in fash­ion for years. If she wants my fash­ion ex­per­tise, she should pay me for it.

Copy­ing the way I dress is not a com­pli­ment. It’s iden­tity theft. She is not me. I do not ap­pre­ci­ate her im­i­tat­ing me. Please help! One Of A Kind in Illi­nois

Dear One Of A Kind: I’ll try, but it may not be the kind of help you’re ask­ing for.

Have you never heard the say­ing, “Im­i­ta­tion is the sin­cer­est form of flat­tery”? It’s a prin­ci­ple the fash­ion in­dus­try is based upon.

In­stead of be­ing of­fended and an­gry, why not help the woman by of­fer­ing to as­sist her in mak­ing dis­tinc­tive fash­ion choices of her own? I’m sure she’d wel­come it, and I’m also sure it would lighten and brighten the at­mos­phere in your work­place.

DearAbby: My mom was in­volved in a se­ri­ous car ac­ci­dent a while back that re­quired mul­ti­ple surg­eries and hos­pi­tal stays. She’s still deal­ing with the reper­cus­sions.

The prob­lem is that she doesn’t seem to have learned from it. She still texts and looks at her phone while driv­ing. It has reached the point where I refuse to ride with her or al­low her to drive my child in her car.

I’ve asked her re­peat­edly to not use her phone while driv­ing, but she seems to think she’s in­vin­ci­ble even af­ter hav­ing proof she’s not.

What should I do to make her un­der­stand she’s putting her­self in dan­ger again, not to men­tion those who ride with her? Con­cerned Daugh­ter

Dear Con­cerned: Be­cause your mother didn’t learn af­ter the ac­ci­dent she caused by not turn­ing off her cell­phone, it’s time to ac­cept that noth­ing you say will change her. Con­tinue to re­frain from rid­ing with her or al­low­ing your child to. And pray that if she causes an­other col­li­sion, she doesn’t kill her­self or some­one else.

Dear Abby: We love to open our win­dows and en­joy the fresh air dur­ing the win­ter­time in Florida. One neighbor sits out back and smokes and the other one smokes on his front porch, which makes it im­pos­si­ble to open our win­dows with­out smoke drift­ing in.

I re­al­ize they have rights, but why can’t we en­joy our home too? What would you do? Fresh Air in Florida

Dear Fresh Air: I’d con­sult an air con­di­tion­ing com­pany and de­scribe the prob­lem. Some restau­rants that have smok­ing pa­tios keep the cig­a­rette smoke from an­noy­ing pa­trons inside by in­stalling a fan above the en­trance. The forced air blows straight down and serves as a bar­rier not only to smoke, but also to fly­ing in­sects.

Con­tact Dear Abby at dearabby. com or P. O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Copy­ing the way I dress is not a com­pli­ment. It’s iden­tity theft. She is not me.

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