After a birth control failure, woman anxious about future intimacy
Dear Abby: Two years ago, I had a miscarriage. The guy was nothing more than a fling. We were careful and never did anything without protection, but it happened anyway.
I have now been in a relationship with a really great guy for four months. I said I wanted to take it slow, and he has been very supportive, but we are both getting antsy to move to the next step of intimacy. My problem is, I can’t seem to stop having anxiety attacks when I think about the possibility of getting pregnant again, even using two forms of birth control.
Neither of us wants kids now or in the future. How do I get past this fear? Worried in Wyoming
Dear Worried: A way to do that would be to talk to your doctor or pharmacist about what your options would be for using a long-term form of birth control such as a slow-release implant or an IUD.
If your state had a Planned Parenthood clinic nearby, I would normally recommend going there. However, when I checked online, I was shocked to discover there is no longer a clinic in your entire state, which means you may have to go as far as Colorado to find one.
Dear Abby: I am increasingly frustrated with a colleague’s daily demeanor. She’s a supervisor in my department, although I no longer report directly to her. But my office is adjacent to hers, and I see her frequently.
Every day when she arrives, I greet her with my standard, “Good morning, how are you?” and she replies with a heavy sigh and some vague remark about how tired she is or some other general complaint. Even if I don’t ask about her welfare, she will still offer the same negative remarks. She does this with other co-workers as well. Is there an effective response I can offer that would help her to reframe, or at least stop with the heavy martyrdom? Tired of Hearing It
Dear Tired: Because she constantly volunteers (with a heavy sigh) that she’s “tired,” consider pointing out that she has been saying this same thing for a long time and suggest she consult a doctor about it. The one thing you should definitely stop doing is personalizing it the way it appears you do.
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