Sandler’s bat mitzvah comedy warmly embraces Jewish culture
For some 30 years, we’ve seen two broad categories of Adam Sandler movies: 1. “AGT” (Adam’s Got Talent) films that showcase Sandler’s impressive and sometimes underrated versatility, e.g., “PunchDrunk Love,” “Spanglish,” “Reign Over Me,” “The Cobbler,” “The Meyerowitz Stories,” “Uncut Gems” and “Hustle.”
2. The Cargo Shorts and FlipFlop Films, in which it looks like Sandler is wearing comfy home clothes in most scenes as he goes for the big dumb laughs in movies such as “Billy Madison,” “Happy Gilmore,” “Grown-Ups,” “Blended,” “Murder Mystery,” et al.
The charming and big-hearted and culturally significant (I kid you not) Netflix comedy “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah” fits squarely into the second category in terms of the outfits worn by Sandler’s character and the fact he’s playing a not-particularly-cool dad who couldn’t possibly care less that he’s not a particularly cool dad, which makes him kind of a cool dad.
However, this is more of a Sandler Family Project than an Adam Sandler vehicle, with Sandler’s wife and his two daughters playing prominent roles. In fact, Sandler’s daughter Sunny is the lead, and she delivers a winning and natural performance as Stacy Friedman, a 13-year-old girl who experiences an existential crisis as she gets tangled up in middle school hijinks in the build-up to her Bat Mitzvah. Sadie Sandler delivers a deadpan gem of a performance as Stacy’s caustic older sister Ronnie, while Jackie Sandler does fine work playing the mother of Stacy’s best friend.
Talk about Take Your Family to Work Day.
The thing is, with the talented director Sammi Cohen (“Crush”) deftly toggling between comedy and drama, and a knowing and funny screenplay by Alison Peck (adapting the YA novel by Fiona Rosenbloom), everyone in the Sandler clan nails it, as does the ensemble of promising young actors and invaluable comedic veterans. (Luis Guzman shows up about halfway through the story, looking like he wandered in from another movie set, and kills.) “You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah” manages to feel very much of the present time while paying homage to the sunny coming-of-age comedies of John Hughes.
Stacy’s well-meaning but sometimes overbearing and always practical parents keep telling her to lower expectations (there will be no Ariana Grande performance), not to mention driving her crazy by inviting the likes of their dry cleaner to the Bat Mitzvah. “That’s so unfair,” exclaims Stacy. “The ratio of old people to normal people is already so unbalanced.”
Meanwhile, Stacy has a major fallout with her BFF Lydia (Samantha Lorraine) after Lydia takes up with Stacy’s forever crush, the handsome jock Andy (Dylan Hoffman), who, like just about every dreamy guy in movies like this, is a superficial idiot.
About that earlier aside when I said this movie carries cultural significance: There’s something wonderful and refreshing about a film that leans into and embraces this particular facet of Jewish culture. When Stacy’s hippie rabbi (a hilarious Sarah Sherman from “SNL”) warns Stacy there will be no Bat Mitzvah if Stacy doesn’t finish her mitzvah project, she tells her, “That’s the way the hamantaschen crumbles.”
Though specific in its humor and humanity, this is a film that also has a universal quality. Anyone who’s ever had a falling-out with a best friend can relate to the heartache felt by Stacy and Lydia when things go sideways — and will be rooting for these two wonderful young women to find their way back to one another. Theirs is a friendship worth saving.