WHY TWO MEN LEFT
‘Is God really only calling single, celibate men to the priesthood?’
Just a year after becoming a Catholic priest, Doug Langner said the loneliness started to creep in. “You would go through times of (thinking), wouldn’t it be nice to just share your day with someone else?” said Langner, who was ordained in 2008 after graduating from Mundelein Seminary, and started to work in a Kansas City, Mo.-area parish.
Soon he was the only priest assigned to his church, living alone in the rectory, which isn’t uncommon as the Roman Catholic Church faces a priest shortage that has forced many churches to shut down or merge.
Then, Langner met someone. She worked at the church and was going through a divorce. The two had a connection, Langner said, though they didn’t act on it.
But it helped him address
doubts that had been there all along. It made him ask himself, “Are you really going to spend the next 50 years … of your life without someone to share it with?”
It turns out, he wasn’t. Langner left the priesthood about two years after his ordination. He said the vow of celibacy and the isolation it breeds weren’t for him,
but his resolve as a Catholic remains intact.
“I think there is a place in the church for people who are called to celibacy. They live it out in a beautiful way,” he said. “But I also don’t think they’re the only people called. Is God really only calling single, celibate men to the priesthood?”
Young priests leaving the pastorate is another blow to the struggling Catholic Church, which is closing and consolidating churches amid widespread sex abuse allegations, a less devout population and a priest shortage.
“In the midst of this storm, (prospective priests are thinking), do I get in the boat? Do I stay in the boat? That has to be a discernment. I think that’s one of the causes,” said Bishop Ronald Hicks, vicar general at the Archdiocese of Chicago.
Due in part to the priest shortage, the archdiocese has closed schools and churches as part of an ongoing restructuring plan. Since 1975, the Chicago Archdiocese has shuttered more than 100 parishes and more than 250 schools, according to its annual report. During that time, the number of total priests shrank from 1,261 in 1975 to 746 in 2018, according to the diocese.
“Here in Chicago, what we’re looking at is, with less priests, how do we continue to make sure our people are served and our parishes are thriving?” Hicks said. In addition to relying on deacons and involved parishioners to do the work of the church, Hicks said, “we’re actively promoting priesthood.”
Part of that includes a visible presence of seminary students working in local churches, said the Rev. John Kartje, rector of Mundelein Seminary — the largest seminary in the country, located at the University of Saint Mary of the Lake. This allows parishioners to see firsthand that young men are still entering the clergy, he said.
Though nationwide seminary enrollment has sliced nearly in half since 1970, to about 3,400 students in 2017, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate, Kartje points out that Mundelein’s enrollment has remained steady in the past several years, hovering at around 200 students.
Once a man enters the seminary — a graduate degree program that takes between four and six years to complete — leaders at Mundelein try to address student concerns about church life, which can be isolating, Kartje said. Each student is offered professional counseling and a spiritual adviser, a priest who can offer guidance.
“The whole idea behind seminary is that it’s a discernment process. There’s no presumption on day one he’ll be ordained a priest,” he said, adding that about 20 percent of each class leaves before reaching ordination. “It’s a complete altering of who you are.”
A predominant reason for seminarians’ departure is the mandatory vow of celibacy and the prospect that they can never marry, Kartje said, coupled with a general “fear of loneliness.” Speaking to reporters earlier this year, Pope Francis affirmed his belief in celibacy but said the church could explore ordination of married men in rural areas with no priests, meaning outside the U.S. Celibacy in the Catholic Church is a long-standing discipline but is not considered doctrine.
But Langner, 41, who left the priesthood nine years ago and then married the woman he met at his former church, said, “There’s no doubt about it — there would be more priests” if they were allowed to marry.
Langner, who now works at a faith-based social service agency in Kansas City, took an unlikely path to priesthood. He grew up Baptist but converted to Catholicism in college after spending a summer in Chicago. He said he was drawn to the historical roots of the faith and made the switch after a visit to Chicago’s Holy Name Cathedral, where he was struck by its beauty.
After college graduation, Langner was working in politics and then in a corporate job in Chicago, feeling unfulfilled in his career. He found a home in his church and started teaching classes, among other service work. Soon a priest suggested he think about entering the seminary.
“I think I said an expletive to the priest,” he said. “I didn’t think that would be my path … probably mostly the idea of celibacy.”
But after further thought and a retreat at Mundelein Seminary, he decided to enroll and, to the shock of family and friends, was eventually ordained and returned to Missouri to work.
Langner said that even though priest life wasn’t for him, he’s proud to remain a Catholic, though “some days are tougher than others.” He’s particularly rocked by the sex abuse scandal, which also played a part in his decision to leave after a bishop near his hometown was convicted of protecting a pedophile priest.
While he’s known other classmates who have left the priesthood, then the church altogether, Langner said he’s not leaving. “I believe in so many things within the church.”
That’s also the case
with Ryan Larson, of Chicago, another former priest who attended Mundelein Seminary.
“My convictions as a Catholic go a lot deeper than the questions I had about being a priest,” said Larson, now a 41-year-old lawyer and married father of twins.
Even before Larson was ordained, the doubts were there, in the back of his mind. In his final years at Mundelein Seminary, the Wheaton native spent a summer working in a suburban parish. He started to see what life as a priest would be like, outside the supportive seminary community, and he struggled with loneliness.
Still, Larson pushed on toward his ordination, most excited about the prospect of becoming a military chaplain, along with his daily duties at the Naperville church where he’d work.
But less than three years after his ordination, he left the priesthood, a life he felt wasn’t for him.
“If I had thought about … whether I could live lifelong celibacy, I would’ve left” before ordination, Larson said. “I just didn’t.”
Larson left the clergy in April 2010, in part because he was not able to serve as a military chaplain because “there were not enough priests to go around” local parishes, he said. As more of his friends started to get married and have children, he couldn’t envision a life of celibacy, especially after the ministry he felt most drawn to was not possible.
“What am I doing?,” he said he asked himself. “If I don’t get to take part in this mission, this particular type of ministry I feel most called to … can I stay a priest?”
While clergy life didn’t work for Larson, it didn’t shake his faith. He remains a Catholic and said he rarely misses Sunday Mass with his family. He said he’s not convinced allowing priests to marry would solve the priest shortage.
Instead, Larson said that if Catholics become more involved in their faith, it’s likely more will feel called to the clergy.
But a recent Gallup poll shows 37 percent of U.S. Catholics are considering leaving over the sex abuse scandal, up from 22 percent in 2002, in the early days of wide reporting on abuse allegations against priests.
Larson said it’s not only up to current priests, but also also lay people to strengthen their commitment to the church.
“Priests need to be better at their jobs — their preaching and their teachings … doing everything they can to understand what it means to be Catholic,” he said. “All of us should be … worried about the state of the church. (Catholics) should be staying as close to God as they can.”