Giuliani’s dodgy pals indicted and Trump demands Fox News behave
President Donald Trump continued to face a congressional impeachment inquiry in the calm and straightforward manner we’ve come to expect and … I’m kidding, he just melted further into a gurgling puddle of liquefied lies, forcing the nation and a good part of the world to look back on the week and ask: “What the (BLEEP) just happened?” The week in review
Dodgy Giuliani’s dodgy pals picked up for doing pro-Trump crimes
In the midst of an impeachment inquiry is probably not the best time for two associates of a president’s personal attorney to get indicted on campaign finance charges and arrested while trying to flee the country.
But that is just what happened last week, and it fits fairly well with the Trump administration’s motto: “Every 10 minutes, a new Watergate.”
Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, who were helping Rudy Giuliani in his conspiratorial “investigation” into Ukraine and former Vice President Joe Biden, were charged Thursday with campaign violations that include a $325,000 donation to a proTrump political action committee.
It appears the two were helping deliver Russian money to Republican candidates, which hints at why so many Republican lawmakers have their lips permanently attached to President Donald Trump’s butt.
Giuliani was spotted having lunch with Parnas and Fruman at — you guessed it! — the Trump International Hotel in Washington hours before they attempted to board an international flight.
It all sounds dodgy as the dickens, but don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll learn it’s all Hillary Clinton’s fault any moment now.
Trump tells Fox News to shape up if it wants to be state-run media
President Donald Trump pushed evercloser to a breakup with his BFF Fox News after the network dared to release a poll showing majority support for Trump’s impeachment and removal from office.
The Fox News poll found that 51% of Americans think Trump should be impeached and removed from office, up from 42% in July.
It hurts when (Fox &) Friends turn their backs on you.
Trump responded Thursday via tweet: “From the day I announced I was running for President, I have NEVER had a good @FoxNews Poll. Whoever their Pollster is, they suck.”
In his next tweet, he said Fox News “doesn’t deliver for US anymore. It is so different than it used to be. Oh well, I’m President!”
Look, Fox News, if you want to maintain your standing as the president’s top propaganda outlet, you better fire those pollsters and stop dishing out anything even close to the truth.
If only the Kurds had stayed at some Trump properties…
Trump did to the Syrian Kurds last week what he has done to all manner of contractors, wives and adult film stars: turned his back on them.
After announcing he was pulling U.S. troops from northern Syria and abandoning our Kurdish allies who defeated the Islamic State, Trump gave Turkey the green light to attack and put nearly a halfmillion people near the border at risk.
Trying to downplay America’s relationship with the Kurds, Trump said “they didn’t help us in the second World War, they didn’t help us with Normandy.” It was an interesting comment coming from someone who, to the best of my recollection, didn’t help us with Vietnam.
The Kurds’ best chance for getting Trump to care about them is to quickly let him build a Trump Tower in northern Syria. Otherwise, all bets are off.
Madigan ally’s door knockers and the knocks on doors by the FBI
Nothing says democracy quite like a politician harassing constituents into signing something they don’t want to sign.
A Tribune report last week detailed how Southwest Side residents were hassled repeatedly by 13th Ward Ald. Marty Quinn’s foot soldiers, who went door to door pressuring people to sign affidavits revoking their support for a college student who was running against Quinn.
It didn’t matter whether the residents had actually given the student, David Krupa, their support in the first place. Quinn’s people just wanted to scoop up as many revocations as possible in the hope they would somehow snag enough to take Krupa off the ballot.
“They kept coming and coming and coming to my house. … Three times a day for a very long time,” one woman said.
Quinn is Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan’s guy. Which probably explains the subtlety of this approach.
Of course the only annoying door knocks Madigan is worrying about right now are the ones coming from FBI agents raiding the homes of his friends and confidants. Maybe karma’s real after all.
Environmentalists gripe about minor fish-slaughtering cyanide spill
Once again, lake-hugging environmentalist are trying to interfere with good old-fashioned capitalism by suing an Indiana steel mill over something silly such as releasing “a plume of concentrated cyanide and ammonia” into a Lake Michigan tributary.
Yes, the spill at ArcelorMittal’s Burns Harbor mill earlier this year killed thousands of fish. And yes it led to several beach closures and the shut off of a nearby drinking water intake.
And yes, the lawsuit filed by the Chicago-based Environmental Law and Policy Center and the Hoosier Environmental Council claims the mill broke environmental laws more than 100 times over the past four years.
And yes, when you put all that together it does sound really, really bad.
But, c’mon, there are people in charge of ArcelorMittal who make a lot of money and deserve to make even more money by cutting corners.
Right?