This Golden Moutza is for you, Washington Post
The Washington Post — the paper that warns us that democracy dies in darkness but doesn’t mind secret impeachment hearings — is one of many nominees for the Golden Moutza of the Month.
But there are many others worthy of the October moutza.
Schools that canceled Halloween; the Chicago Teachers Union claiming the strike was “for the kids”; and the People’s Republic of Oak Park, once famed for those “Hate Has No Home Here” signs, but now, apparently, hate is OK if directed at white men.
And Turner Classic Movies; the Chicago Bears; Utah Sen. Pierre Delecto; and the Georgia town that harassed little kids for eating vegetables.
And I didn’t even get to the thruple involving former U.S. Rep. Katie Hill, D-Calif., who was photographed naked and astride a 22-year-old congressional staffer, Hill gently brushing the staffer’s hair.
Hill resigned rather than deal with an Ethics Committee ordeal, which would have involved her relationship with an older, male staffer also.
“What’s a thruple?” asked a journalist I won’t name.
I don’t know, exactly, and I’m afraid to Google it at work. Let’s just move on.
“Can you change this to moutza of the week, John?” asked reader Mike Murrin. “Too many choices, not enough months! NAH to all of them.”
No, Mike, a thousand times no. Readers nominate their worthies. When it comes to the Moutza of the Month, there can be only one.
You know how the moutza works. Open your palm, spread your fingers, thrust them at the object of your contempt in the manner of the ancient Hellenes and say Nah! (take it) or Feesah Etho (blow on it).
“Have you ever thought about offering an award to identify someone who stands out for doing something right or positive?” asked Patrick Moorhead. “There must be someone out there who deserves such an award. Someone … anyone?”
You mean, someone besides former state Rep. Luis “This is the Jackpot” Arroyo? Sure. We’ll give out big public hugs. But not now. This is Moutza time.
“If you don’t give it to Pierre Delecto, you might as well stop the Golden Moutza,” said Barry Sokolsky. “Nah.”
U.S. Sen. Mitt Romney’s anonymous Twitter handle, “Pierre Delecto,” will follow that milquetoast to the end of time.
Dan FioRito, an Oak Park resident, is amazed at what the left has done to the People’s Republic.
“Nah to this nut from Oak Park,” said FioRito. “I live here with my Anomaly of a family (9 kids) and am amazed by the liberal insanity surrounding us.”
What happened is that Oak Park Trustee Susan Buchanan, angry white woman, was caught on tape embarrassing herself and her town. The video went viral.
She was shouting at fellow board members who are white and male as they were debating “equity.” If only they had debated property taxes.
“I don’t want to hear what you have to say!” Buchanan yelled. “Why do you have an opinion on equity? You have been white from birth. … Just stop, Dan. Stop, Dino. You are not oppressed. … You stop it. You are a white male.”
Then she rounded on Oak Park Mayor Anan Abu-Taleb, who was born on the Gaza Strip, and snapped, “Your skin is white enough.”
White enough? Oh People’s Republic of Oak Park, what have you done to yourselves?
Reader Nancy Kacz considered Sen. Pierre Delecto, but changed her mind. “I will have to go with Oak Park,” Kacz said. “Romney is dead to me. NAH!”
Former outstanding soccer coach Gary Radville gave the bosses of the Chicago Bears his monthly moutza.
“The overpaid chumbalones impersonating the management of the Bears,” said Radville. “Draft Mitchell Trubisky? Fired. Skip preseason? Fired. Waive Robbie Gould? Fired. Nah, moutza, adios, turn out the lights the party’s over.”
Don’t worry, Mr. Radville, I promise that a winner will return to Soldier Field next year.
Because I’ve just purchased four season tickets for my beloved Chicago Fire. And soccer is real football. Go Fire!
Speaking of sports, the NBA received many nominations for spinelessly caving to China’s demands that those Hong Kong protesters seeking freedom were not a fit subject for discussion before an American audience. Freedom of Speech much, NBA?
“LeBron James spouts off about all the injustices of the (U.S.) that sacrificed so much to defeat fascism in WWII but out of the other side of his mouth defends heavy handed communist China,” said Terry Poulos. “Nah!”
The Chicago Teachers Union received many nominations, but the strike’s over. And they’ll soon give their moutza to taxpayers.
“A veritable plethora of candidates this month, “said Marilou Wilschke, “but the award has to go to that proud bastion of journalistic integrity, The Washington Post, for confirming what many of us have known for a very long time about the Democratic Media Complex. Have you no shame? NAH, NAH, a thousand times, NAH.”
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the murderous leader of ISIS, who unleashed mass slaughter against Muslims and Christians as he grabbed territory, was finally killed in a confrontation with by U.S. Armed Forces.
This was the Post’s headline: “Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, austere religious scholar at helm of Islamic State, dies at 48.”
Austere religious scholar? A burner and beheader of human beings, a font of barbaric cruelty? What’s austere about all that suffering and blood?
The headline was later changed, and apologies were made, but it was too late. The Post revealed itself. It wasn’t exactly “Dewey Defeats Truman.”
Washington Post? The Golden Moutza of October belongs to you.
It shines in the darkness, but it’s better in the full light of day.
Nah!