These three mentors shaped my life and inspired me to be a mentor too
Editor’s note: In November, we asked readers to tell us about the mentors who had changed the course of their lives. We heard from many of you and published some responses in December. As we launch our new community initiative, “Chicago Forward — Young lives in the balance: How to reach Chicagoland’s disconnected youth,” we’ll explore mentorships and other programs that succeed in keeping our young people on a track toward healthy and productive lives.
This letter comes from Keenan Palmer, who is also featured in our editorial about the Chicago Forward project. Palmer works for Friends of the Children, a private organization that pairs salaried, trained mentors with some of our community’s most vulnerable children — and commits to mentoring those children for 12 ½ years. The group has been operating in Chicago for just a few years, but it was founded in Portland, Oregon, in 1993 and operates in 18 cities. Over 26 years, Friends reports impressive results among the youth in the program: 83% receive their high school diploma or equivalency; 98% wait to parent until after their teen years; and 93% avoid involvement in the criminal justice system.
In my life, I have known many good people — but there were three exceptional people who saw beyond my behavior and challenging circumstances and treated me as a person with great potential.
Third grade was the first of many rough years for me. I was the only black student in my very white school. After getting into a fight on the playground, the police took me out of the school in handcuffs, placed me in the back of a police car and booked me at the station. I was immediately expelled from school. I was 8 years old. It is hard to overstate the amount of anger that this injustice inflamed in me.
Fast forward two years to fifth grade. I attended an urban school in Kansas City, Missouri. Because of my emotional outbursts, I was placed in an alternative classroom — where I was fortunate to meet Ms. Baker. Unlike my previous teachers, she didn’t focus on reprimanding my poor behavior. Instead, she invested a lot time with me and made me feel loved, smart and appreciated. She was the first person to encourage me to dream about my future.
Even with Ms. Baker’s love, I still struggled with my anger as I started middle school. My outrage grew exponentially when my best friend was a victim of gun violence.
Fortunately, I was persuaded to join the football team, where I met Coach Everett. He wasn’t the pat-you-on-the-back and tell-you-you’re-doing-a-fine-job type of man. He was the opposite. He worked us hard, holding us to the highest of standards — in everything from politeness to accountability and teamwork. He was my first positive male role model. He taught me how to talk through my anger and showed me what it felt like to be respected as a human being.
By high school, my challenge wasn’t with behavior, but rather a lack of motivation. I could not envision anything for myself after high school — until I met Dr. Lannie Milon, our new vice principal.
I had never had a black, male teacher before. But on top of that, I could relate to him — I could see myself in him. Mr. Milon was young. He looked and talked like us. We listened to the same music. To this day, I have no idea what he saw in me, but I remember clearly when he asked me to become the president of the high school’s Distinguished Gentlemen Club. As part of the club, he had me volunteering for community service projects. He also made me sign up for an ACT-prep class and apply to colleges if I wanted to attend Saturday open gym. Never in my dreams did I expect to go to college. Dr. Milon is the reason I did.
Today, I work as a professional mentor with Friends of the Children in Chicago. This full time, salaried job allows me to be there for eight young Chicago boys in Austin and North Lawndale. I provide them with consistent, adult support — something that was missing in my life and the lives of so many other people living in poverty and trauma.
The boys I work with have all seen too much trauma in their short lives. I know that with proper support, they all have the potential to thrive. I am proud to be that person in their lives. Serving as a professional mentor is the best tribute I can pay to the three people who positively changed my life.
I am grateful to each one of these people who played a crucial role for me at a critical time in my life. Without each one of them, my life could have spiraled in a very different direction. I would not be the man and mentor I am today without them.