Kids say darn­d­est things again

Chicago Tribune (Sunday) - - CUBS - By Phil Thomp­son

It’s called the “Cubs Kids Only Press Con­fer­ence,” but some­times it has more in com­mon with the New York Fri­ars Club.

The kids were at it again Sat­ur­day dur­ing the Cubs Con­ven­tion at the Sheraton Grand Chicago, un­in­ten­tion­ally tweak­ing their fa­vorite play­ers with their comedic ques­tions.

1. Is Kyle Sch­war­ber in a pla­toon with Ben and Jerry? Kyle Sch­war­ber has been called “Sch­warBabe” and “Sch­war Ma­chine,” but he’ll prob­a­bly hear at least one new nick­name this sum­mer, thanks to 7-year-old Ben Ohr from East Mo­line

Ben spoke into the mic, with all se­ri­ous­ness, “My ques­tion’s for Sher­bert.”

He had to pause while au­di­ence mem­bers cracked up, and then again af­ter he started over, “Um, Sher­bert …”

Fi­nally: “What’s your long­est home run you ever hit?”

Af­ter every­one set­tled down, Sch­war-bert an­swered.

“What do you guys think, wild-card game against Gerrit Cole?” Sch­war­ber asked, re­fer­ring to his 430-foot, two-run blast dur­ing the Cubs’ 4-0 win against the Pi­rates in the 2015 Na­tional League wild-card game in Pitts­burgh. “It went all the way in the wa­ter.”

2. Kris Bryant has a sweet mo­ment … even in his ab­sence. Jocci Guz­man, 19, couldn’t get the words out.

Ben, her fa­ther, took over and ex­plained, “She makes a card ev­ery year for Bryant and heard that Bryant was sick and wanted to know if you would give it to him for her.”

An­thony Rizzo promised to oblige.

Jocci had posed with Bryant stand­ing next to her in her wheel­chair at the past two con­ven­tions.

3. Kyle Sch­war­ber prob­a­bly re­grets ‘field­ing’ one ques­tion. Ten-year-old El­iz­a­beth from Ver­non Hills asked whether play­ers pre­ferred field­ing or bat­ting.

“I like bat­ting,” Sch­war­ber said, draw­ing roars of laugh­ter be­cause of his past foibles in left field, adding, “Bat­ting’s a lot bet­ter.”

Javier Baez shot in, “The trick is, don’t try so hard.”

4. An Astros ques­tion threw them a curve. A boy who only iden­ti­fied him­self as Lin­coln asked, “What do you guys think about the Hous­ton Astros cheat­ing?”

Rizzo, who acted as mod­er­a­tor, seemed to squirm a bit at the podium be­fore turn­ing to the team’s mas­cot.

“Clark, you want to take this one on?”

Clark sug­gested on his dry erase board that the Astros be sent back into space.

“Cheat­ing’s not good, how about that?” Rizzo said, adding, “In any­thing you do in life, if you can do it the right way and try hard and give it your all, you know you can go to bed at night with an hon­est head on your pil­low.”

5. Javier Baez turns Cub­bie red? Delilah Gar­cia of Cicero, held up 5-year-old daugh­ter Ma­gali to the mic, both of them wear­ing T-shirts that read, “Kiss it goodBaez.”

Mom started the ques­tion, “Javy why are you …”

Then Ma­gali fin­ished, “So cute?”

Rizzo took Clark’s gi­ant base­ball cap and started wav­ing it at Baez to cool him off.

“I guess it’s my teeth,” Baez said sheep­ishly.

ABEL URIBE/CHICAGO TRI­BUNE

Cubs fans from Los An­ge­les take a photo with Javier Baez at the Cubs Con­ven­tion on Sat­ur­day.

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