Kids say darndest things again
It’s called the “Cubs Kids Only Press Conference,” but sometimes it has more in common with the New York Friars Club.
The kids were at it again Saturday during the Cubs Convention at the Sheraton Grand Chicago, unintentionally tweaking their favorite players with their comedic questions.
1. Is Kyle Schwarber in a platoon with Ben and Jerry? Kyle Schwarber has been called “SchwarBabe” and “Schwar Machine,” but he’ll probably hear at least one new nickname this summer, thanks to 7-year-old Ben Ohr from East Moline
Ben spoke into the mic, with all seriousness, “My question’s for Sherbert.”
He had to pause while audience members cracked up, and then again after he started over, “Um, Sherbert …”
Finally: “What’s your longest home run you ever hit?”
After everyone settled down, Schwar-bert answered.
“What do you guys think, wild-card game against Gerrit Cole?” Schwarber asked, referring to his 430-foot, two-run blast during the Cubs’ 4-0 win against the Pirates in the 2015 National League wild-card game in Pittsburgh. “It went all the way in the water.”
2. Kris Bryant has a sweet moment … even in his absence. Jocci Guzman, 19, couldn’t get the words out.
Ben, her father, took over and explained, “She makes a card every year for Bryant and heard that Bryant was sick and wanted to know if you would give it to him for her.”
Anthony Rizzo promised to oblige.
Jocci had posed with Bryant standing next to her in her wheelchair at the past two conventions.
3. Kyle Schwarber probably regrets ‘fielding’ one question. Ten-year-old Elizabeth from Vernon Hills asked whether players preferred fielding or batting.
“I like batting,” Schwarber said, drawing roars of laughter because of his past foibles in left field, adding, “Batting’s a lot better.”
Javier Baez shot in, “The trick is, don’t try so hard.”
4. An Astros question threw them a curve. A boy who only identified himself as Lincoln asked, “What do you guys think about the Houston Astros cheating?”
Rizzo, who acted as moderator, seemed to squirm a bit at the podium before turning to the team’s mascot.
“Clark, you want to take this one on?”
Clark suggested on his dry erase board that the Astros be sent back into space.
“Cheating’s not good, how about that?” Rizzo said, adding, “In anything you do in life, if you can do it the right way and try hard and give it your all, you know you can go to bed at night with an honest head on your pillow.”
5. Javier Baez turns Cubbie red? Delilah Garcia of Cicero, held up 5-year-old daughter Magali to the mic, both of them wearing T-shirts that read, “Kiss it goodBaez.”
Mom started the question, “Javy why are you …”
Then Magali finished, “So cute?”
Rizzo took Clark’s giant baseball cap and started waving it at Baez to cool him off.
“I guess it’s my teeth,” Baez said sheepishly.
Cubs fans from Los Angeles take a photo with Javier Baez at the Cubs Convention on Saturday.