Whatever you call it, video-meet with family on Thanksgiving
In an online departmental chat the other day, our editor asked the opinion team about their plans for the upcoming holiday.
I contributed a note about the “Thankszooming” observance being organized by the extended Zorn family. My colleagueClarence Page posted a note that he and his kinwould be celebrating “Zoomsgiving.”
Oh, it’s on.
Back inApril, the slangy name for the traditional Jewish Passover Seder feast safely conducted via Zoom or other teleconferencing programs during the COVID-19 pandemicwas obvious: “Zeder.”
But what shallwe call the next great traditional feast?
In defense of “Zoomsgiving,” by far the more popular term to judge by hits on Google and results returned fromtheNexis English-language news archive, Page notes that it emphasizes “the characteristic— Zooming— that sets this new form of celebration apart fromthe original.” Plus, he adds, “it’s catchy.”
My counter is that the “Thankszooming” neologism maintains the reference to and emphasis on thanks— the gratitudewe feel toward one another, fate, God or whateverwe consider the source of that whichwe pause to savor— while still nodding to the technological oddity of it all.
I posted a click poll toTwitter and the resultwas a narrow51% to 49% victory for “Thankszooming.” Page’s lawyers have since been all overmewith claims of rigged voting and coinage fraud.
But whatever you call it, virtual Thanksgiving, with each household unit gathered around the ol’ laptop video chattingwith other households in the family network, will be by far the safestway to celebrate aweek fromthis coming Thursday.
Yes, I knowit’s suboptimal. Yes, I knowyou’re tired of being scolded and shamed for all the littleways that you interact with other humans without cloth and Plexiglas shields separating you. Yes, I knowsocial proximity— touch and eye contact particularly — is so integral to the human experience that any celebration feels colorless without it.
But, to quote ChicagoMayor Lori Lightfoot on Thursday, “You must cancel the normalThanksgiving plans.”
The holiday could hardly be more of a superspreader event than if it had been designed by the coronavirus itself.
People from all over the country traditionally assemble in a single house for an entire day if not an extendedweekend, sit shoulder to shoulder in tight dining rooms for hours laughing, talking loudly and even singing if they’re doing it right. Then they disperse back to their home regions— frequently in jammed airplanes— to interact with others who have been similarly intimatewith their family and friends.
What more could a highly contagious viruswant? Maybe bobbing for apples and mistletoe for random kissing? Ritual circle dances? It’s hard to imagine how
Thanksgiving could be more of a petri dish.
I knowit stinks. But you’re seeing the same statistics I am— a pandemic already running wild in the population, hospitals near the breaking point, frustration, fatigue and fear piling on to those not (yet) infected. Lightfoot has instituted a stay-at-home advisory that looks likely to become a stay-athome mandate if the numbers don’t improve.
Yes, all these restrictions and limitations are uncomfortable and annoying. But, asNewJersey Gov. PhilMurphy snapped Thursday, “You knowwhat’s really uncomfortable and annoying? When you die.”
Just think about next year. Imagine howhard itwill be to feel grateful ifwe’re filledwith the memories of all the deaths that followed the reckless merrymaking of fall 2020.
Whether you’re onTeam Eric orTeam Clarence, Zoom on and brace yourself.
Hat tip to the ‘Milk Dud’
I havemy political differences with outgoing Republican state Sen. Jim Oberweis of SugarGrove, owner of OberweisDairy. And I’ve been amused by his relentless and mostly futile bids for office— once for governor, three times forU.S. Senate and nowthat The Associated Press has declared thatU.S. Rep. LaurenUnderwood of Naperville has beat back his challenge, three times for theU.S. House— that have earned him the nickname “The MilkDud.”
And as much as I’m annoyed by the presumption of rich aspirants who can’t take a hint when the public keeps telling them “no,” I’m also impressed by those who keep picking themselves up, dusting themselves off and investing a lot of their ownmoney in trying again.
Oberweis, whose state senate seatwas just captured by aDemocrat, does more than type out angrywords to advance his view of howsociety should be. And part of me admires that, as it admires the relentlessly ambitious entrepreneurWillieWilson, who has a failed candidacy for president to go with two failed candidacies for Chicago mayor and, earlier this month, a failed candidacy forU.S. Senate as the nominee of theWillieWilson party.
Oberweis is refusing to concede toUnderwood. “Illinois election lawhas provisions to allowparties in a closely contested race to seek a recount to ensure that all legal votes are counted and to ensure that the final outcome is the right outcome,” said a statement from his campaign. “There are still votes that have yet to be counted. The totals at this point are unofficial totals as the race has yet to be certified. We are committed to exploring all of the legal options at our disposal and will pursue these options that are afforded our campaign under law.”
And you knowwhat? Fine! It’s smart and sensible to make sure all the votes are counted and all the legal options are explored. You’re not a poor sport when you ask for a replay review.
What’s creditably missing from this statement is any wild, unsubstantiated accusation of fraud or high jinks— irregularities that judges, not courts of public opinion, should rule on in any case.
Oberweis appears to be going about the process of apparent defeat calmly. So even if he falls short, hewon’t be a loser.
Re: Tweets
The winner of thisweek’s reader poll to select the funniest tweetwas “You guys, we don’t have to send in theMarines to get him out of the WhiteHouse. All we have to do is cancel the cable,” by @goldengateblond.
The poll appears at chicago tribune.com/zorn where you can read all the finalists. For an early alertwhen each new poll is posted, sign up for theChange of Subject email newsletter at chicagotribune.com/newsletters.