As light returns, two lists to mark a dark year
And nowthe light comes back. At 4:02 a.m. Monday, Chicago time, the winter solstice arrives. It’s the momentwe begin the slowclimb out of the darkness, likeweary miners exiting the pit. This year more than ever the shift feels psychological aswell as astronomical, so today’s a good day to take account of things we’ve missed during this dark time, along with what has provided some light in spite of it all.
In that spirit, I’ve made two lists. I encourage you tomake your own.
Things I’ve Missed
1. The ability to plan Before the pandemic, most of us made plans. For trips. Gettogethers. The future. Wise people have always known the precarious nature of the best-laid plans, etc., and people without money tend to knowit. But until March many of us enjoyed the fiction thatwe could control the time ahead. Nowwe live in the wobblierworld of the day-by-day, which is disorienting but closer to reality.
2. Chitchat Remember the idle but vital conversation you used to have with people at the coffeehouse or atwork or church? Until you’re deprived of chitchat, you don’t notice howmuch those seemingly small connections and conversations educate and sustain you.
3. Coffeehouses Nothing like a chilly December day to make you yearn for that cozy place outside the house where you can think, read or chitchat.
4. Airplanes
In amovie scene the other night, I sawa man on an airplane and felt an unexpected jolt of nostalgia. Was I really nostalgic for the feel of pulling down the tray table? Iwas.
5. Travel
Imiss the visits to friends and family. The possibility of exploring new and distant places. The change of view. The sense of movement.
6. Casual touch Remember the hello hug, the goodbye hug, the it’ll-be-OKhug? The friendly hand on an elbow? The firm handshake? Howlong before those seemOKagain?
7. Live music and theater One day this summer I stopped to listen to a band playing in a neighborhood park. I sawa couple of bystanders with tears in their eyes and felt the sameway. Virtual performances are better than nothing, but they simply can’t match the energy of live ones.
8. Wearing dresses
I love a good, simple dress. But what’s the point in a pandemic?
9. People I love
We talk, we email, we have dinner across the Zoom screen. That’s better than nothing— “better than nothing” is a mantra for our times— but it’s not the same. And yet, the separation has made me realize howmuch I love and depend on friends and family. Missing them makes me appreciate them more. Which leads to the second list.
Things I’ve Appreciated More
1. Health careworkers. Grocery clerks. Delivery people. Postal carriers. Pollworkers. Journalists who go out into the world seeking sense in the chaos. Those are just some of the people the pandemic has taught us to call “essential.” Theywere essential before, but rarely recognized thatway.
Also, newspaper carriers. It’s a good season to tip yours, by the way.
2. Small businesses, and the people whowork in them
Local shops and restaurants give life and flavor to our neighborhoods. As they struggle to stay alive in the pandemic, we realize their value more acutely.
3. Birds, bugs and trees Nothing like being stuck at home to make you notice what lives around you.
4. ReliableWi-Fi Aswe’ve become more dependent onWi-Fi, we’ve also learned howmany people are deprived of it. Access toWi-Fi is just one of the inequities the pandemic has exposed.
5. White vinegar Staying home has turned many people into maniacal cleaners. I grew upwashing windows with vinegar and newspapers, so the miraculous properties of white vinegar aren’t a revelation. But the pandemic has expandedmy repertoire. Cut the vinegar with dish soap andwater to clean kitchen counters. Mix it with water towash berries and keep them from spoiling. The opportunities are endless.
6. My neighbors
The pandemic has forced us outside— to eat, to exercise, to socialize— and, like many people, I’ve gotten to knowmy neighbors better as a result.
7. Goodwalking shoes I recently wrote about the psychological benefits ofwalking through the pandemic. Many people replied with a question: What shoes do youwear? I hesitate to recommend shoes because feet are idiosyncratic. But for the past couple of years I’ve sworn by the On Cloud (aka On or OC) basic “Cloud” shoe, made for running andwalking. (I sawa photo of Jill Biden in a pair the other day.)
8. Good novels about plagues It’sweirdly consoling to read about other plagues in distant times. Those stories put this plague into perspective. A few favorites: “Year ofWonders” by Geraldine Brooks. “Station Eleven” by Emily St. JohnMandel. “The End of October” by LawrenceWright. “Hamnet” by Maggie O’Farrell. “The Plague” by Albert Camus.
9. Being alive long enough to watch the light return.