Their friendship outlasts Muslim ban by Trump
Image of families in 2017 protest at O’Hare went viral
Eleven-year-old Meryem Yildirim could hear her mother sob from the kitchen while rolling applause and music heralded Joe Biden’s inauguration this week as the 46th president of the U.S.
But she understood her mother’s tears were joyful as they marked relief over the anticipated end of former President Donald Trump’s so-called Muslim ban, one of his first executive orders that four years ago stirred hundreds of protesters to flood airports across the country, including Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport.
“Finally, Trump’s gone,” Meryem said. “(There will be) more equality and just less crazy things happening.”
One of the other children among the protesters at O’Hare on a Monday night in late January 2017 day was 9-year-old Adin Bendat-Appell. He and Meryem, who was 7 at the time, met while perched on their fathers’ shoulders, waving signs saying “Love” and “Hate has no home here” as the adults chatted about where to find a good steakhouse.
The chance encounter of the two families, one Muslim and one Jewish, went viral and sparked a friendship spanning years of shared Ramadans and Shabbats, dinner tables brimming with new dishes to try — and, most recently, periodic email check-ins after the Bendat-Appells moved to Toronto in 2019.
“As a Jew, if that happened against Jews, I would feel so angry. And it wasn’t fair at all, and we’re all humans at the end,” Adin, now 13, said Wednesday about the Trump travel ban. “With the Yildirims, we’re good friends, and I really disagreed with it and I’m so happy it’s over.”
Shortly after taking office, Trump issued an executive order prohibiting nationals from seven Muslimmajority countries from entering the U.S. Trump’s order was challenged in court, and eventually the Supreme Court upheld a third version that also included some African countries. Hours after his inauguration on Wednesday, Biden made good on his promise to repeal the policy on his first day in office.
Adin’s father, Rabbi Jordan Bendat-Appell, said he thought about the Yildirims, who remain in Schaumburg, when inaugural poet Amanda Gorman recited the line “Where can we find light / In this never-ending shade?” It was an apt reflection of how the two families came to support each other during strife-filled times.
“That kind of sums up what brought us together and what has just energized our relationship, which is the sense of, very simply put, when you find yourself in a dark situation, you make light,” Bendat-Appell said.
That dynamic has underscored much of their relationship, with the two families often reaching out following turbulent news events that affected Jewish or Muslim people, such as the 2018 mass shooting at the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh. The two families found comfort in reconnecting during such tragedies, they said, as it reminded them of their hopeful first encounter and the joy of learning about each other’s cultures.
Both families said it was paramount for their children
to be exposed to people from other religions and backgrounds, but ultimately, their friendship
came naturally because of a genuine connection that included board games, sports talk and generous meals.
After pausing to contemplate, Bendat-Appell said his favorite dish that the Yildirims served was their friend’s baklava, made without dairy in observance of the Jewish custom not to mix meat and milk.
“What did I learn? I’ve learned that we are not so much different,” Meryem’s father, Fatih Yildirim, said. “When the times get more crazy, we are sending backand-forth emails. … I love the connection. It means a lot to me. The BendatAppells, they’re really good people.”
There also were moments of levity, even as the coronavirus pandemic shut down the world in 2020 and solidified the long-distance status of their friendship for at least another year. During the Bendat-Appells’ goingaway party at a Highland Park synagogue, the
Yildirims brought photos of their get-togethers, including one of Fatih Yildirim posing in his living room with a thumbs-up sign as an unknowing Rabbi BendatAppell was in the background, engrossed in an interview with a journalist. The picture remains in a scrapbook of the BendatAppells’ favorite memories in Illinois.
After Biden won the November 2020 election, Bendat-Appell emailed Yildirim: “THANK GOD !!!! One of the few things (the only thing?!) I’m thankful to Trump for is that he helped us meet and connect.”
Yildirim’s wife, Amy, responded, “We will forever be grateful for being able to be part of your lives … even after the darkest night, the sun will still shine.”