Affordable child care, prekindergarten: More liberal hooey
Listen up, patriots. The last thing hardworking Americans need is access to affordable child care and free prekindergarten. That stuff ’s for communists and snowflakes.
So you can imagine my outrage when I saw alleged President Joe Biden standing up there in front of Congress the other day spouting off lines like: “We guarantee that low- to middle-income families will pay no more than 7% of their income for high-quality care for children up to the age of 5. The most hard-pressed working families won’t have to spend a dime.”
Child care? What a bunch of tax-and-spend liberal hooey.
When I was growing up down in the great and sensible state of Florida, my mom and dad didn’t use any child care. They just relied on nature and the POWER OF PRAYER. As soon as I was old enough to toddle, they left me home alone, knowing full well the good lord and the raccoons that lived in the walls would look after me. (Yes, the raccoons did eat my brother Ronald Reagan Huppke when he was 3, but that was GOD’S WILL!!)
And what is this “prekindergarten” nonsense Biden was blabbering about?
“We add two years of universal high-quality preschool for every 3- and 4- year-old in America,” Sleepy-But-Also-Diabolical-And-Capable-Of-Destroying-America Joe said. “The research shows that when a young child goes to school — not day care — they are far more likely to graduate from high school and go on to college.”
WHO CARES?!? First off, “research” is a left-wing construct designed to annoy honest conservatives. And second, do you know what happens when otherwise decent young Americans go to college? They get turned into liberal, green-tea-drinking, vegetarian, pro-fact weenies. And that’s a fact. Sean Hannity told me.
U.S. Sen. Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee knows what’s what, and after listening to Biden stubbornly endorse things a majority of Americans are in favor of, she tweeted the words, “You know who else liked universal day care” followed by a link to a recent 1974 article by The New York Times. That article from a paper I and every other Republican denounces as “fake news” on a regular basis had the headline: “In Soviet Union, Day Care Is the Norm.”
EXCELLENT POINT, SEN. BLACKBURN! I, too, believe Biden is trying to turn us into commies. Were it not for Ronald Reagan (the great president, not my brother who was eaten by raccoons, as God intended) we would probably all be sending our children to day care without fear of going broke. It’s chilling just to think about.
I recall back in 2019 there was some lefty nutter running around the country pushing the European socialist idea of affordable child care and paid family leave and saying things like: “It’s a travesty that we are the only country in the developed world without a policy to support parents and families.”
Oh, wait, that was Ivanka Trump. Never mind. SHE was making a reasonable point, but this stuff Biden has put in his American Families Plan is radical and would fundamentally change our country.
Not only would it eradicate the great American tradition of parents having to quit jobs to care for young children — a tradition that has allowed so many to experience and study the fields of bankruptcy and malnutrition — it would also harm our most vulnerable citizens: the wealthy.
The $1.8 trillion plan, which includes $225 billion to help lower-income families pay child care costs, would be paid for in part by raising the top 1% of American earners’ marginal income tax rate to 39.6% from 37%. Using the math skills the raccoons taught me as a child, that’s a 15% increase.
According to The New York Times, which I like for its 1974 stories on Soviet day care plans but hate for all other things: “He would increase capital gains and dividend tax rates for those earning more than $1 million a year. And he would eliminate a provision in the tax code that reduces capital gains on some inherited assets, like vacation homes, that largely benefits the wealthy.”
Reducing capital gains on vacation homes? Biden is an absolute monster. I can’t imagine the struggles wealthy patriots would face if they had to own fewer boats or think twice before shooting a sports car into space. That’s not the kind of America I want my children, Trumpington Devin Nunes Huppke and little Marjorie Taylor Huppke, growing up in.
Fortunately, it seems we can count on our conservative, family-first lawmakers to do the right thing. Per The New York Times, which I hate: “Republicans have expressed much less interest in additional spending for education, child care and paid leave than they have for building roads and bridges.”
Amen. What good are educated or well-cared-for children when we have roads and bridges to build so wealthy Americans can safely move their sports-car-carrying rocket ships to launchpads near their vacation homes?
Don’t let Biden and his evil cabal of Antifa super soldiers spend your wealthy friends’ hard-inherited money on nambypamby garbage like “education” or “affordable child care” or “ending child poverty.”
It’s like the mildly rabid raccoon that partially raised me once said: “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRACK! GRRRRRRRRRRRAHHHHRRRRRR!”
Words to live by, patriots.