Brotherly love
Evanston principal, brother write book about overcoming poverty
When Gilbert Allen was 15 — struggling to make sense of his schoolwork, stinging from teachers rebuffing his pleas for guidance, aching for a sense of belonging — his older brother, Michael, stepped in.
Their parents battled drug addiction, poverty and intermittent homelessness in and around Zion and Waukegan. Gilbert was, at the time, crashing at their sister’s one-bedroom apartment, which she also shared with her boyfriend and their newborn.
Michael was a sophomore at Valparaiso University and Gilbert called him one night. “Nobody, I mean nobody, understands me,” Gilbert said through sobs.
Michael left school, packed up Gilbert and brought him to live with him at college. He enrolled Gilbert in high school in Valparaiso, stayed up late to help him with his homework, cheered him on at his track meets and eventually gained legal guardianship.
“He was amazing,” Gilbert said earlier this month. “We were struggling to eat, struggling to get around. I was seeing him work two different jobs and go to school and trying to take care of me. And he said to me, ‘One day it won’t be like this.’ ” He was right. Gilbert, now 33, earned a master’s degree in social work and is working toward his doctorate. Michael, 38, earned his doctorate in administration and supervision and serves as principal at Oakton Elementary in Evanston, where he was named 2020 principal of the year by the Illinois Principals Association.
They study together and work out together and share meals together. And now they’ve written a book together.
“Brotherly Love” is a 53-page chapter book that recounts that painful but transformational period of Gilbert and Michael’s life. Illustrated by Tyrus Goshay, the book is aimed at fifth- through eighth-graders, which is a population that Michael nurtures and nudges and cultivates every day.
“By the time kids are in middle school, they seem so independent,” Michael said. “But they’re still so fragile. Really, really fragile. Maybe more fragile than they are even in elementary school.”
Middle school, Michael said, was where he decided he would lead a big, full life.
“I didn’t know what it was that I wanted to do yet,” he said. “But that’s when I started to ride this wave of hope, as Gilbert and I like to describe it. I started to recognize, ‘Here are the decisions I can make. Here are the sacrifices I have to make.’ ”
He and Gilbert want their life story to help other kids feel seen and believed in and encouraged, regardless of what their lives look like outside of school.
They also recognized a need for authentic stories centered around Black protagonists, written by Black authors — something too few kids are exposed to at school.
When they were first starting to write their book, Michael came across a 2019 analysis of the curriculum at New York City public schools. It found that books by and about white people made up five times more books than all authors of color combined, despite students of color making up 85% of the student population.
“More books represented the stories of animals than people of color,” Michael said.
The Allens have recently started hosting “Brotherly Love” readings and book signings to further bring their story to life. Gilbert said it’s especially touching when parents approach him and say their kids connect with the book. He said he’s also heard from some of his high school coaches who’ve read the book.
“They were very powerful in my development,” he said. “As a football player, but also as a person and a man. It’s amazing to hear from them telling me, ‘Kudos.’ ”
The first signed copy of the book went to Michael and Gilbert’s mom, who was transitioning to hospice the same month the book was published.
“It was really unsettling to me to not know how she felt about our truth,” Michael said. “She read it and she smiled from ear to ear and hugged me and was able to tell me she was proud of me. It was really gratifying, that this idea Gilbert and I were sitting with came to fruition and became not only part of our legacy, but our mother’s legacy as well.”
Their mother died in December.
The book, both brothers emphasize, is also a clarion call for adults.
“It’s important for us to never take for granted the ability to nurture kids and let them know they can be 100% accepted, wherever they are, whoever they are,” Michael said. “Constantly telling them we love them, even when they fail. Being unconditionally committed to their futures. Letting them know their ideas matter and they’re valuable today and they’re needed in the future and, most importantly, that nothing or no one can stop them.
“My students at Oakton will tell you,” he continued, “the most powerful three words I say to my students regularly are, ‘I love you.’ The first time I say it to many of them, they’re like, ‘What? That’s weird.’ But years in, they come to expect it. The reality is love stabilizes the foundation of being a human being. Everyone needs it, even if we’ve been functioning in survival mode for our entire life.”
Their book opens with a preface, which offers some background and context on the brothers’ lives — past and present.
“It’s a beautiful struggle,” they write.
And an honor to be invited along.
Michael and Gilbert Allen will be signing copies of “Brotherly Love” at 11 a.m. May 23 at Booked, 506 Main St. in Evanston. More information at brotherlylovebook.com.
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