Time for exec’s assistant to fix printing error on stationery

Dear Miss Manners: I have been the executive assistant of a prominent person for the past 10 years. I take care of matters both within the executive’s company and in his personal/family life, as is common at this level of my profession.

My question involves an error made by the executive’s wife. She had personal stationery printed for the use of the family many years ago. Unfortunately, the address on the stationery reads, “The Johnson’s” (name changed).

I cringe every time I see the misplaced apostrophe, and for 10 years I’ve been biting my tongue, not wanting to insult my boss’s wife. We have a friendly, warm relationship and she has given me many compliments about my knowledge of grammar.

Have I waited too long, or should I speak up so she has a chance to reprint the stationery correctly? I don’t want her to be embarrassed when she sends correspondence to people who might notice the error, or have her mistake reflect poorly on my boss, or anyone in the family. Should I send her a gift of reprinted stationery and not mention the error?

Gentle reader: You are The Person Who Gets Things Done in this relationship, so Miss Manners advises you to take advantage of it.

Volunteer to arrange for the next printing of the stationery — surely, after 10 years, it is time. Before you put in the order, send the wife a note explaining that you just realized that the apostrophe is in the wrong place and confirm that you, fortunately, caught it before it went to the printers. The implication that you initially missed the mistake will remove the sting. And you won’t have to pay for the printing.

Dear Miss Manners: Our neighbors of 40 years ask us to take care of their cat when they go away for more than one night. It’s usually for four days or so, and we are happy to go next door to make sure the cat has fresh water and food and to give him some people-time.

When we had a dog, these same neighbors were insistent that we not board her when we traveled because she would be better off in her own house, and that they were happy to come over to give her food, water and people-time. I always brought something back for them from our travels, or made something for them as a thank-you gift — a basket that I made, filled with homemade goodies, for example.

We recently took care of the cat for a few days and as thanks, we were given a couple of very nice homemade hot pads and a $50 gift card. The time before was a $50 gift certificate to a local restaurant. It’s way too much for the little that is asked of us. We would like to give the gift card back to them, but we don’t want any hurt feelings or to have them think that they can’t ask us to watch the cat in the future. Help?

Gentle reader: Turning down presents already given is an insult, so Miss Manners wishes you joy with the hot pads and the gift card. But it will be charming when you assure them that you love Sugar and are thrilled to be able to return the favor after all those years in which they looked after Chester.

Dear Miss Manners: When I speak to people by phone, they talk over me and interrupt me. I feel like it is a one-sided discussion.

With one friend, I had to send her a five-page letter to let her know how she had upset me by discussing a sensitive and charged family situation.

Gentle reader: Until you mentioned the five-page letter, Miss Manners was totally sympathetic. Whether your friend was pontificating about your family problems or talking nonstop about her own, doing all the talking kills a conversation.

But your taking five pages to say that does plant the idea that perhaps you are not entirely guiltless. And it isn’t just that one person who interrupts, but apparently everyone. Is it possible that they are the ones who would never get to talk unless they interrupted you? If not, Miss Manners apologizes and suggests that you learn to say, “Let me just finish, please, and then I’d like to hear what you think.”

Dear Miss Manners: If I have lemon cake and cheese at a party, should I serve the cheese first or last?

Gentle reader: First. What? Does Miss Manners also have to serve up a rationale? In the traditional order of courses, cheese comes before sweets. No doubt your foodie friends can explain why.