5 ways to stop an argument from escalating

How do you defuse an argument? Direct, honest, and sometimes difficult conversations are essential to creating a healthy workplace where everyone feels heard, valued, and respected. Follow these five steps to defuse your next argument and become a stronge

Hit the pause button

Once you realize that a conversation is getting heated, take a deep breath and comment on the rising tension. Stop making your point, reacting, or talking about the topic. Shift your focus to what’s going on between you and the other person. If the tension continues to rise, respectfully take charge and say, “This conversation is getting intense, and we don’t want it to turn into an argument. Let’s take a quick break and revisit the topic later. But for now, we can take a moment to collect our thoughts.”

Collect your thoughts

Think about how you want to show up and the most important point you want the other person to take away from your interaction.

Make a choice

It takes two people to continue an argument. Plan to stay in control. Don’t focus on winning or having the final word. Focus on the outcome you are hoping to achieve by having the conversation.

Take responsibility

If you hurt the other person’s feelings, take responsibility for the harm you caused, even if it was unintentional. Don’t get defensive.

Stay present

Return to the topic at hand, taking your time and remaining calm. Stay engaged in the conversation and stay attuned to the energy between you. Also, notice the other person’s emotional state so you can recognize when the conversation gets heated again. It is natural for

both of you to feel a little uncomfortable, but if you proceed slowly and respectfully, you will both have your say and move forward together.