RETREAT to move forward
How a centuries-old practice can stop leaders from quitting
As the Great Attrition marches on, leaders are eyeing the door themselves. But is quitting the solution to the problem? Over the past year, intent for male leaders to stay has dropped 9 points; for female leaders, intent to stay has dropped a whopping 18 points. Burnout is a common denominator and an issue largely ignored by leaders during the pandemic. According to a new Deloitte survey, 69% of the C-suite respondents are seriously considering quitting for a job that better supports their well-being.
For other leaders, it’s like a window has opened. “During the pandemic, some executives experienced a different, richer life than they had previously, and it created a moment of reflection,” said Arne Gast, senior partner at McKinsey & Company, Amsterdam. “Some have shared in private that they don’t want to go back to their old work life, especially when the option to work from home and travel less is so much greater now.”
But knowing you want a change and determining how and what to change are two entirely different things. The latter requires space, time and the contemplation of tough questions — not an easy ask for time-strapped executives. Short of resigning, isn’t there some other way for leaders to reimagine their job and find new meaning and direction? The answer may be thousands of years old.
Retreats are a tradition as old as time. They are an integral practice in many religions and in yoga, meditation and well-being communities. Over the past year, we have increasingly invited our clients to embark on retreats that share common elements. They are held in nature, surrounded by beauty and quiet. All phones, laptops and other distractions are surrendered upon arrival. And most of the time is spent in silence with some guided reflection.
Although retreating to a beautiful place can make anyone feel rejuvenated, there is something deeper going on; actually, three specific shifts away from a leader’s normal state to what we call an “immersive state.” It’s when a leader is in this immersive state that their questions of well-being and meaning are ready to be tackled.
Shift No. 1: From autopilot to awareness
Like an experienced long-distance runner, our brains have mastered the smart outlay of energy. We find mental shortcuts. We rely on habits to get things done efficiently. When actions and behaviors repeat themselves, we go into autopilot mode to dedicate as little conscious thought as possible. There is beauty and efficiency in this construction, and also downsides.
Over time, it becomes difficult to break out of well-worn patterns of behavior, to ask our brain to choose a different pattern of action in response to the same situation it has already encountered hundreds of times. After two years of living and working in the same small universe, all of us have come to over rely on autopilot. What gets turned off is autopilot’s opposing twin: awareness.
To snap out of autopilot mode, break the usual patterns of behavior and take away the normal cues. As behavioral scientist Bob Nease says, “Our brains are constantly comparing the reality we observe with what we expect to see. When prediction clashes with reality — when we spot something novel or threatening — our conscious brain is called into action.”
Shift No. 2: From distraction to focus
Our digital devices sustained us during the pandemic, surpassing lockdowns and social distancing to connect us with family, grocery deliveries, news and entertainment. Our increased reliance on digital devices was necessary but not without drawbacks. We are normally distracted a third of our day and up to 60% of our day if stress levels are high. Our digital devices perpetuate a vicious cycle, constantly pulling our attention through notifications, beeps and addictive apps, and then delivering content that feeds our stress about ourselves and the world.
The end result is not pretty. An inability to focus impedes our ability to be present with others and engage in deep thinking. Constantly connecting with others through Zoom during the pandemic made our brains work harder and caused chronic fatigue. Many of us are trying to recalibrate.
Shift No. 3: From busyness to clarity
As leaders rise in the ranks, it is expected that working hours rise, too, along with an availability to jump on calls or respond to emails at any time. This dynamic is so engrained that being busy is equated with being important. In other words, if a leader doesn’t have packed days and full email inboxes, people assume they must be incompetent or on their way out the door. In Deloitte’s survey, 73% of the C-suite reported that they aren’t able to take time off and disconnect because they have too much work to do, they want people to know they’re dedicated to their job, or they’re afraid they would miss out on important messages or emails. Busyness has become a status symbol and an addictive one at that.
From a neurological perspective, the experience of busyness activates our sympathetic nervous system, triggering a stress response that kicks us into action and enables us to get things done. At the same time, dopamine is released in the brain, providing a sense of enjoyment and gratification at ticking things off the to-do list. This starts the addictive cycle, and our brains go looking for another dopamine hit from another activity, and on and on.
At our leadership retreats, there is very little planned activity; rather, a lot of open space for walking, sitting by a fire and sleeping. In this way, the thinking/planning/doing part of our brains calms down, and the dopamine addiction of busyness dies down. What arises are spaciousness and clarity. When leaders have the opportunity to dial down the to-do’s and meetings, they begin to see everything in a clearer light and reacquaint themselves with what’s in their hearts.