Top 10 most passive-aggressive phrases you’re likely using in email
More hybrid and remote work has increased our written communication, via email, IMs, DMs and texting. The problem with these types of correspondence is that nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and inflection, are missing, and the underlying tone of the message has to be inferred by the recipient.
Unfortunately, the human brain naturally skews toward the negative. Your message may come across as aggressive, condescending or just plain rude when that was never your intent.
It can be tricky to gauge someone’s tone through an email or Slack message. The team at WordFinder by Your Dictionary studied emails and found some commonly used workplace jargon and terms come across as passive-aggressive in writing. Whether it’s intentional or not, using them can make others uncomfortable, create tension or even jeopardize your job.
These 10 phrases were rated as seeming the most passive-aggressive:
Please advise
Noted
Friendly reminder
Will do
Thanks in advance
Per our last conversation
Circling back
As per my last email As promised
As discussed
“I’ll take care of it,” “any update on this” and “sorry to bother you again” were among the least-used passive-aggressive phrases.
“Communication in the workplace can be hard,” says Michael Kwan, content lead for WordFinder. “For better or worse, digital communication — whether through email or direct messages on platforms like Slack — doesn’t let us see each other’s immediate reactions, which is why we look for ways to politely express irritation. As a result, employee frustration and miscommunication are at an all-time high, with tone alone being misinterpreted quite a bit in email communication.”
No one wants to be misunderstood. Before you shoot off an email or Slack, decide if the conversation is better suited for face-to-face conversation, Kwan says. For example, if you need to provide an employee with constructive criticism or feedback, it’s best to schedule a Zoom meeting or, at the very least, pick up the phone. You’ll have a better opportunity to use vocal inflection and facial expressions to temper the message.
If your message is one that can be relayed by email, reread the words, thinking about tone and potential reception, Kwan says. Pretend you are the recipient. If any part of the communication feels uncomfortable or unclear, or if it triggers negative emotions, try rethinking your approach. You could change the method of delivery, or you can reword your message, removing phrases that can be interpreted as being negative.
Difficult conversations will happen in the workplace, no matter what form of communication you use. So it’s important to remove as much emotion and ambiguity as possible. Phrase things in a way in which you communicate the message clearly and feel you’re being heard, understood and received in the way you intend, Kwan says.
“Open and honest communication is the best way people can work together,” he says. “If you lay your cards on the table, and both parties approach the situation in good faith, you can arrive at a mutually acceptable solution.”